Great Shinobi
by asasa
Summary: Funny, dark, action packed, informative. The Kyuubi's book would have been great with the old Naruto as research material. Now armed with a personality split Naruto, returning home after 3 years of banishment, it will be spectacular. NaruIno.
1. Chapter 1: Return

Note: This will be a Naruto/Ino fic and some other pairings that you can vote for. The story won't start off with Naruto wanting to destory Konoha, but don't worry. By chapter 6 or 7 he will be on the run and toward another village. So all of you fans of Naruto beating up Konoha just be patient with me.

"Talking"

'_Thinking and Jutsus'_ _Also Used For Emphasis_

"**Demons + Summons Talking" Also Used For Emphasis **

'_**Demons + Summons Thinking**_'

'_**Dark** Naruto **Thinking**_'

"**Dark** Naruto **Talking**"

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Within the body of one Uzumaki Naruto resided a beast of unfathomable power and destructive force, the strongest of all biju, the one and only Kyuubi no Yoko. If one were to see this ruler of demons right now they would think he was your average calm woodland creature… that just happened to overflow with an aura of pure malice. Said creature was currently resting inside his cage of 18 years, and in front of him seemed to be a notebook along with a pen. Both objects were hovering in the air, controlled by the malevolent chakra that belonged to the kitsune. Where the book and pen came from, one can only imagine.

"**As I have observed from my stay in this brat and his Human World, the making of a Great Shinobi is not as complicated as some make it out to be,**" said the Kyuubi, looking at his book with lazy, carefree eyes, while at the same time using his insurmountable control over his chakra to control the pen and write in the notebook. On the top of the page he was writing on, were the words '_Great Shinobi_'. Looking foward, the fox saw that the second side of the brat was beginning to stir and grinned.

**_'This book is going to be bad ass.'_**

* * *

**_Fast Foward 3 Days _**

"So," asked Naruto with a sadistic grin as he looked forward at Gai's team, "you want to die together or one at a time?" The three shinobi were taken aback by their friend's newfound ruthlessness as they unconsciously took a step backwards. Getting into their battle stances, they knew that they couldn't go into this battle halfheartedly. Naruto's grin grew larger as he stared at his once comrades.

"No one will be dieing here today, Naruto," spoke Neji while in his Jyukken (_Gentle Fist)_ stance. The blonde didn't respond as he instead looked toward the village, watching as several columns of smoke ascended toward the sky. The others allowed their eyes to follow the direction that Naruto's were staring at, and found themselves looking toward the chaos that the blonde himself had caused. As they watched, all three of them suddenly found themselves being sent hurdling further into the forest as pain exploded through their bodies. Once they managed to collect themselves the three nin looked up to see Naruto shaking his head in mock disappointment for breaking one of the most basic shinobi rules.

_'Never take your eyes off the enemy,'_ thought the members of Team Gai at once. The three didn't have much time to think however as they suddenly felt an almost unfathomable amount of killer intent sent their way.

"If no one will die, I'll just have to make sure that they wished they had," spoke Naruto as his chakra flared and his hurricane like wind/water started to tear up the very ground beneath him. Unbeknownst to Naruto the members of Team Gai felt their bones chill as the temperature in the air suddenly fell a few degrees.

**_

* * *

_**

Present Time

Two ninjas were currently walking at a leisurely pace toward their destination, Konohagakure no Sato. One of these ninjas, clearly the older of the two as one could tell by looks alone, was dressed in a green and red wardrobe, along with red sandals and a horned headband with the kanji for the word 'oil' on it. He looked to be a man somewhere in his mid 50s and was rather tall, standing at about 6'2", and also had long, spiky white hair which was tied to a ponytail once it reached the end of his neck. His face was stern and strong had red line tattoos running down has eyes. His name was Jiraiya, of the Densetsu no Sannin and author of the _Icha Icha_ line of books.

The other shinobi, who was the younger of the two and was around 5'10", wore black sweat pants with white and orange flames decorating it all around. He also wore an orange t-shirt which only had the left sleeve, the right one being torn near the shoulder blade. Ragged white bandaged were wrapped around both the nin's arms, each starting from the elbow and ending at the mid-finger joints. On the back of his shirt was a red spiral, as well as a nodachi, which was in its sheath and was tilted diagonally to the right. It was held there by a thin white rope that went around the man's back and to the front. His face was akin to one deceased Yondaime Hokage, save for his much more lively eyes and the three defining whisker marks on each of his cheeks. His wardrobe was completed by his Konoha headband, the fabric of which was black rather than the normal blue, and his white and orange shoes, which were similar to what some may call "Dub-Zero"s if it weren't for the fact that instead of pictures of a man with a ball on it, it had pictures of the Golden Flash's three-pronged kunai. (Disclaimer: Don't own Nike).

His body resembled that of the older man next to him, muscular and firm, while at the same time being compact, quick, and nimble. This allowed him to wield the nodachi on his back with ease while others would probably have trouble doing the same. All in all the man was attractive. This one's name was Uzumaki Naruto, Jinchuuriki of the legendary Kyuubi no Yoko, and the most surprising ninja of Konoha.

The aformentioned nin turned to look at his sensei with a look of mild irritation on his face, "Ero-Sennin, how much longer till we get there?"

"Gaki, we'll get there when we get there ok?" replied the Toad Sannin for what must have been the tenth time that day.

"That doesn't tell me anything," grumbled Naruto, "why don't we just run instead of walking anyway?" he inquired.

"It's to hot to run, gaki," said Jiraiya, "if we run we might smell bad when we get there. I don't want my legions of fans to think I; the great ninja Jiraiya-sama of the Sannin doesn't have proper hygiene."

"What fans are you talking about? It couldn't be the perverts that read your books," stated Naruto. While he would almost never admit it, Naruto no longer looked down on Jiraiya's books. Rather, he quite enjoyed them, undoubtley a result of the ungodly amount of peverted ness that his sensei wielded along with the surprising emergence of the Kyuubi, who proved to also be quite the pervert. Just as he was about to succumb to his sensei's demands of walking, an idea popped into the blonde's head.

"Hey Ero-Sennin, since today is Saturday, the really hot and sexy women are probably at the hot springs since both ninja and civilians usually don't work today," stated Naruto. The plan yeilded the desired effect as Jiraiya started to blush and let out perverted giggles as his nose started to bleed at the thought of all the '_research'_ he would be able to do.

"What are we doing walking at this pace brat? We have to get to Konoha NOW!" exclaimed Jiraiya as he ran at speeds that rivaled Konoha's two resident beasts, leaving a cloud of dust as he ran to get to the nearest Konoha hot spring he could find.

"Finally," whispered Naruto with a grin.

And so with that, the duo of teacher and apprentice were off, their destination clear and their resolve to get there renewed.

--

Once the two were within sight of the village, they slowed their pace as they gradually made their way to the village gates. Once there, they were greeted by the sight of two Chuunin who seemed to occupy themselves by sitting down and reading the same orange book that one Hatake Kakashi could undoubtedly be found reading. Once they heard the footsteps of the two approaching nin, they lowered their books and stood up, trying to look as dignified as one could be after reading a book from the _Icha Icha_ series.

"Greetings Jiraiya-sama, Uzumaki-san," spoke the Chuunin to the left.

The Sannin nodded in their direction as he began to walk past the two, wanting to get to Tsunade and then the hot springs quickly as possible. Then there was the fact that he didn't want to risk _that _Naruto coming out and killing these guys. Just as the pair were about to walk past the guards, they were stopped.

"Wait! Jiraiya-sama, would you mind…." said the two Chuunin while holding out their _Icha Icha_ books along with pens, looking at the Toad Sannin with hopeful eyes.

"Why of course I wouldn't, anything for my loyal fans," said Jiraiya. Once he was done signing the books both he and Naruto left the Chuunin and made their way to the Hokage Tower.

"See Naruto, we just entered the village and already we have met two of my thousands upon millions of fan," boasted Jiraiya, with all the air of a SSS-Class pervert. Naruto could only sigh as he realized that there would be no persuading his sensei that he wasn't the living personfication of _awesome_. The two ninja continued their walk, and Naruto couldn't help but notice how little had changed. The only noticeable difference he could see was that there were more people than the last time he had been in Konoha.

Thinking about the last time he had been in Konoha caused Naruto a bit of melancholy and resentment as he was reminded of why exactly he was banished.

**Flashback**

_Sai, Sakura, and Yamato were running as fast as they could to Konoha. On Yamato's back was the unconscious form of Uchiha Sasuke, while on the back of Sai was the body of one Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto and Sai had been the first to encounter Sasuke in Kusagakure, and while Naruto was still weak from his fight with Orochimaru, his will to bring back Sasuke had allowed him access once more to his 4-Tailed Kyuubi form. While he was only in this form for a short amount of time it had been enough to surprise and knock out Sasuke. After making sure that both Naruto and Sasuke were still alive and in stable condition, Sai, Sakura, and Yamato left and ran to the village._

_When they finally got there the two guards at the gate were shocked to see the somewhat bloody and beaten up body of a certain biju container and the relatively unharmed body of the younger of the last two surviving Uchiha. The group ran past the guards and made their way straight toward the Hokage's office for two reasons. The first was because Naruto, despite the healing of the Kyuubi, still needed some medical attention, and who better to get it from than a certain slug princess. The second was because the same slug princess would need to be consulted with upon the fate of a certain Sharingan user._

_Once they got to the tower Yamato barged right into the Hokage's office… which was the equivalent of walking straight into the den of a hungry lion. Through sheer luck alone, Yamato managed to avoid having his head knocked clean off courtesy of the fist of a certain Gondaime Hokage. Once Sakura had managed to fully wake her master up, Tsunade was surprised to see what she saw. She immediately started to check Naruto for injuries as well as being informed by Yamato what exactly occurred during their mission._

_Once the village as well as the council knew the second of the two remaining Uchiha had come back they were overjoyed. That would not last long however when they asked_ _Sasuke, accompanied by an ANBU squad, __how exactly he was brought back. Sasuke, who was incredibly crazy ass pissed at being brought back, had told them that Naruto had captured him by turning into some sort of fox thing and knocking him out. While Sasuke didn't know it, since he was just assuming the fox transformation was a new jutsu of Naruto's, he had given the council all the grounds on which they could banish Naruto on. To the council it was a great day, get rid of the demon on the grounds that he could no longer control the Kyuubi and gain the Uchiha._

_However Tsunade would not let Naruto be banished without a fight. She insisted that without Naruto, Sasuke would not have been brought back. Tsunade did have some supporters on the council, namely the grandparents and parents of those whose grandchildren or children were friendly with the outgoing blonde ninja, although they weren't exactly ecstatic in their defence. In the end Tsunade was able to force the council to only banish Naruto a total of 3 years. While most nins were indifferent as to the fate of the Uzumaki, there were a number who were upset. These shinobi came namely from the Rookie 9 and Gai's team, all of whom had no understanding as to why the council would banish Naruto. Many, with many meaning around 99.9, of the villagers however were thrilled. Some notable exceptions were those working at the Ichiraku Ramen Bar_. _Since Jiraiya was currently nowhere to be found, Naruto left shortly after Asuma died, which was the next time anyone would see the hermit._

**Flashback Over**

When the two had finally made it to the Hokage's tower, they decided that if they used the door it would take awhile for them to be allowed into Tsunade's office. So they used the only other available entrance, the window. Once inside they found what they expected to see, a shit load of paper work and a sleeping blonde. Naruto, not wanting to wait for Tsunade to wake up, decided to wake her up himself. For you see, even with all the maturity the blonde had gained over the years, he would sooner die than to miss a chance to annoy his favorite elder blonde.

"Oy, Obaa-chan, wake up!" yelled Naruto. Jiraiya sighed as he got as far away as Naruto as possible.

'_He's going to be in a life threatening situation in about three seconds_,' thought Jiraiya. The instant he finished thinking that Naruto was hit right in the face and sent on a trip to the other side of the tower.

'_Ok, maybe two seconds_,' pondered the man. Once Naruto had made it back to the office and Tsunade had fully awoken she was pleasantly surprised to see the people in her office. She immediately got up and gave Naruto a hug.

"It's great to see you two," she said releasing Naruto, "Shizune, get in here and see whose here."

"Where is my hug Tsunade-hime?" asked Jiraiya with his arms outstretched and a large lecherous smile on his face. Tsunade looked at him with cold eyes that would make Itachi sweat bullets.

"Don't think I forgot what happened last time I hugged you," stated Tsunade with a voice that promised an almost instant death if Jiraiya responded in a different way than she wanted.

"It was an accident Tsunade-hime, it's just they are so big that I…" that was as far as the old hermit went before he was sent crashing all the way to the bottom floor of the tower by means of a certain incredibly pissed off, busty blonde. Naruto sweatdropped as he couldn't help but feel sorry for his teacher.

At that same moment Shizune decided to come in. After hearing the racket that was caused in the usually quite office, she quickly knew who were in the Hokage's room. She also deduced that from the sound of breaking floors that when she entered the room there would be one less person in there than she previously expected.

"Naruto-kun, it's so nice to see you!" exclaimed Shizune as she walked up to the blonde and gave him a hug. "Look at how much you've grown," she added.

"It's good to see you too Shizune-neechan, how have you been?" Naruto asked with curiosity.

"I've been okay, a little bored thought, but then again who wasn't when the village no longer had its loudest, most surprising ninja?" replied Shizune, "but Lee and Gai are always good for a laugh, and Ino is pretty much just as loud as you," finished Shizune.

The three in the room continued to converse with each other, with Tsunade and Shizune telling about the events that occurred in the village over the past three years, and Naruto telling them what he and Jiraiya had been doing. They continued until they heard a groaning noise in the hallway. They all turned their attention to the doorway and a few seconds past by before the beat up form of one Toad Sannin came in.

"Jiraiya-sama, it's nice to see you," Shizune politely greeted. Jiraiya smiled and held out his arms, putting on the same lecherous smile he had when facing Tsunade.

"How about a hug, Shizune?" Jiraiya hopefully questioned.

"Don't think I have forgotten about the last time I hugged you, Jiraiya-sama," was the reply of Shizune, who had the same stare and voice that her master had used just moments ago. Jiraiya was not a Sannin for nothing, he was smart, and after seeing what happened to him when replying to Tsunade, decided to quickly end the conversation with a fast reply of 'Got cha'.

The four of them continued to talk about happenings around the village as well as the information Jiraiya and Naruto had gathered on Akatsuki and Orochimaru. An interesting bit of news that the females heard from the males was that the reason the Akatsuki had taken another 3 year hiatus was because there was a certain order that the biju had to be captured and sealed in. If sealed in the incorrect order, the statue that held the biju would not work for 3 years. This order was obviously complex, for none of the S-ranked shinobi had yet figured it out. Their conversations ended however when a hawk flew in through the window with a scroll on its back. The hawk was unusual in that it had purple feathers that were yellow at the tips.

"That's not good," Tsunade whispered as she began untying the scroll from the bird.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked.

"Well you see Naruto-kun, shortly after you and Jiraiya-sama left, Tsunade-sama came up with the idea that every ninja team should have their own personal message hawk, which they could personally design, in case they needed backup or had something urgent they needed to tell us," said Shizune before continuing, "and this bird belongs to Team 10."

"How can you tell?" asked Naruto. However it struck him once he took a good look at the hawk. Who in Konoha enjoyed the color purple? Also who in Konoha, beside Naruto, Tsunade, and Inoichi had blonde hair?

"Ino-chan personalized the bird, right?" the question came out more as a statement.

"Yep, Ino and her team are currently on a mission to hunt down or possibly capture two members of the Akatsuki. Reports tell use their names are Hidan and Kakuzu," Tsunade said, "for this hawk to be here has to mean they might need help." Once Tsunade read the letter, which had simply written on it the words 'we might need help' as well as a location somewhere in Fire Country, the theory of them being it trouble was solidified.

"Oy Baa-chan let me go and help them," said Naruto. Tsunade looked at Naruto with questioning eyes before turning to Jiraiya, with eyes that seemed to ask him if he thought Naruto was strong enough to go and fight against two of the key members of Akatsuki. Jiraiya smiled.

"The gaki might be annoying, but I made sure that he will be just as strong, as well as perverted, as I was in my prime one day," Jiraiya proudly stated. This seemed to assure Tsunade that Naruto could go and was about to tell him he had her permission, but that was before she realized what her fellow Sannin had fully said.

"What the fuck? Just as perverted?!" yelled Tsunade so loudly that it startled every single person in Konoha.

"Hey the Kyuubi helped too!" claimed Jiraiya, but his efforts to calm the Hokage were futile as he was sent flying across Konoha. After a while of awkward silence, Tsunade called in an ANBU and told him to gather Sasuke, Yamato, and Sakura and tell them to meet her at the front gate in 3 hours.

"What about Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked after the ANBU left.

"Kakashi volunteered to be the leader of Team 10 since this is classified as an S-Class mission, so he is currently not here. And Naruto, be sure to take Jiraiya with you, you might need his help," Tsunade told the young man, "anyway your team will leave in 3 hours at the main gate, will you be ready?" Tsunade asked.

"Hell yea Baa-Chan I'm ready right now!" Naruto stated excitedly.

"Good Naruto-kun, because Tsunade-sama and I would like to spend some time to find out just how much truth there was in Jiraiya-sama's words," stated Shizune in a dark tone, obviously referring to the Sannin's claim that Naruto would soon be just as perverted as he was (this is if he currently wasn't already). The male sweat dropped as he began searching his mind for a way to get out of this predicament.

"Well you see… Ero-Sennin don't you dare try to touch Baa-chan's and Shizune-neechan's asses!" shouted the blonde boy as he pointed behind the two women. Said women instantly looked behind them, looking for all possible traces of the SSS-Class pervert. When they could find none they looked back to where Naruto was, or more accurately where he _had_ been.

All that was in his place was a piece of paper with the drawing of a male stick figure with long spiky hair and sandals labeled 'Ero-Sennin' and a stick figure of a fox with nine tails labeled 'the fur ball'. There was also the words 'perverted ness' written on it and a line that connected the words and a pair of katanas, which were wielded by both the fox and the man. The two seemed to be using the weapons to cut through a wall that was labeled 'sexual morals' and on the other side of the wall was the picture of another male stick figure with spiky hair labeled 'Naruto'. Both Tsunade and Shizune sighed and decided to figure out who would be best suited to fix all the damage done to the tower.

--

Naruto sighed as he ran as fast as he could from the tower.

'_Damn you Ero-Sennin, I could have died_,' thought Naruto. Thinking of said nin reminded Naruto that he was supposed to come with him and his team. This caused Naruto to stop on top of one building and bite his thumb until he drew a small amount of blood.

"_Kuchiyose no Jutsu,_" said Naruto after going through the necessary hand seals and slamming his hand onto the roof of the house. Once all the smoke caused by the jutsu cleared, standing in its place were two small toads, one mostly yellow and one mostly orange.

"Oy, Gamakichi, Gamatatsu, go find Ero-Sennin for me and tell him to meet me and my team at the main gate in three hours, we have a mission" Naruto told the toads.

"Sure things bro," replied Gamakichi.

"Can we get candy before we go?" asked Gamatatsu before being dragged off by his brother. Naruto couldn't help but smile as he saw them leave. Once the two summons were out of eyesight the blonde's thoughts drifted to Team 10 as he looked towards the horizon.

'_Hang in their guys_,' thought Naruto. While in his thoughts a few civilians who were within sight thought it wise to start throwing rocks at the blonde nin.

"Get the hell out of here demon!" yelled one of the villagers. At this exclamation, Naruto's second side manifested as he stopped the rocks in midair by simply looking at them, much to the villagers' confusion. He then sent a large amount of killing intent at the 5 or so villagers, causing them to pass out.

'_**Psh**, he **wastes** his **time** in **this** village.'_ With that thought Naruto set out to do some light training before meeting up with his teammates.

* * *

Once again, inside the body of one Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyuubi was writing in his notebook. However this time he was writing in the back of the book, as opposed to the front as he had been doing earlier. On top of the page he was writing on were the words 'Fun Facts'.

"**One of the many mysteries of male life is how exactly women seem too know we are perverts with a single glance. To answer your question you must first know of a book that has been around since before even I, the Kyuubi no Yoko, had come into being. This book is the source of their knowledge, and it is their greatest weapon against us, the male population. It is called **_**'The Successful Women's Guide to Perverts'**_**." **the beast said, talking to the damp air and water that was located all around him. As was before, he was speaking while at the same time using his demonic red chakra to write in the book.

"**Well that is enough for today," **the Kyuubi stated, once again speaking to objects that would never talk back, before putting the notebook and pen down and going to sleep.

* * *

First Chapter is done. Yay!

Please R/R.


	2. Chapter 2: New Jutsus

"Talking"

'_Thinking and Jutsus'_ _Also Used For Emphasis_

"**Demons + Summons Talking" Also Used For Emphasis **

'_**Demons + Summons Thinking**_'

'**Dark** Naruto **Thinking**'

"**Dark** Naruto **Talking**"

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

I know some of you may be wanting to see the Dark Naruto, and sadly he won't be involved until around the end of the next chapter. Don't worry thought, he'll make himself known eventually.

* * *

Once again we join the Kyuubi inside the moist and forlorn sewer located inside the body of the youthful and lively body of the 18-year-old Uzumaki Naruto. The fox, just having awoken from his short nap, was currently shaking off the small amount of drowsiness that still clouded him. Once he was fully conscious he decided to once again materialize both his pen and notebook. The creature then utilized his chakra to open the notebook, looking for where he had last left off. Once he found his most recent page, he started to once again converse to the sewer that was the inner mind of Naruto.

"**From the information I have gathered, the creation of a Great Shinobi is started with said shinobi assigning him or herself a long term goal. The goal can be a number of different things, ranging from the utter and absolute obliteration of a certain group or person, to the desire to simply be noticed by the general population of the world. From my first, or second depending on how you classify it, hand experience, I have come to the conclusion that the most efficient goal one can set for themselves is to protect those that they deem worthy of their protection. These people are, by the brat anyway, otherwise known as 'Precious People' if I am not mistaken,**" the Kyuubi said. As he was writing in his book the demon could not help but think to himself.

'_**When I finally do finish writing this book, how the hell am I going to publish it?**_' The fox biju scowled as his chakra flared, if only by a little. He had obviously not planned this whole 'making a book' thing out as thoroughly as he had previously thought.

* * *

**_Fast Foward 3 Days_**

Naruto scoffed as he looked toward the unconscious bodies of Team Gai. He could honestly say he wasn't expecting them to fight with a tenacity anywhere near the likes with which they had. But that really didn't matter now. He did however regret that fact that their battle had caused such a ruckus, for now he had the rest of the Rookie 9 hot on his trail.

'_Oh **well**,_' thought the jinhuuriki, _'I'm **not** one **to** back **down** from **a** challenge.'_

* * *

**_Present_**

Haruno Sakura was an intelligent and beautiful young lady. One could ask her a question about almost anything pertaining to being a shinobi or med-nin and she would undoubtedly know the answer. She had an hourglass figure, was filled out in all the right places, and obviously took great care of her pink colored hair and her cream colored skin. But above all she was deadly on the battlefield, being both well trained in combat and healing. All in all Haruno Sakura had all the qualities of a picture perfect kunoichi.

Said young woman was currently waiting on a bridge in Konoha, waiting for her team to show up. It was not that her team was late, but more that she was early, the reason being that she was unceremoniously awoken from her slumber when she heard the mindboggling loud noise an anonymous Gennin team was making trying to catch that demon of a cat. Sakura scowled and she unknowingly leaked out some killing intent.

'_That damn cat, I'm a Jounin and it still manages to get the best of me_,' Sakura was cut off from her inner ramblings when an ANBU suddenly appeared beside her.

"Haruno-san, Hokage-sama has requested you and your team's presence at the main gain in three hours," said the ANBU.

"Very well, thank you," Sakura replied as she gave the ANBU a small bow. The ANBU returned the gesture and vanished in a puff of smoke. Just as the ANBU left, both Yamato and Sasuke arrived at the bridge.

"Sasuke-kun, Yamato-sensei, did you guys hear what he said?" inquired Sakura.

"Yeah, both Sasuke and I were informed by two other ANBU," was the answer by Yamato. Sasuke nodded, indicating what Yamato said was correct.

"We should head toward the main gate now," stated Sasuke, despite the three hour intermission they were given between now and their meeting with the Hokage.

'_No freaking way in hell am I going to be late for a meeting with that senile old woman again,'_ thought Sasuke. He was not exactly the Gondaime's favorite individual, and the last time he was significantly late for an appointment with her he ended up having to watch that rich fat lady's damn demon cat for a week.

The group of three made their way across Konoha to the main gate in silence. Once they made it within sight of the gate they could not help but feel a spike in someone's chakra, albeit only a small one.

'_For some reason I think this has something to do with books_,' thought Yamato. Thinking it might be an enemy the three nin took out kunai and looked toward the gate, only to see a young blonde man, who was oddly enough looking at his stomach as though it was the most interesting thing he had ever witnessed. All three immediately recognized the man to be the same jinchuriki that had been banished three years ago.

"It's Naruto! He's back!" exclaimed Sakura as she begun to make her way toward the gate, only to be stopped by Sasuke grabbing her wrist.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-kun?"

"Want to see if the dobe has gotten any better, Sakura?" asked Sasuke with an almost invisible small smile.

Sakura returned the smile and gave Sasuke a nod. Yamato said nothing, indicating he had no qualms against it.

'_Looks like we're all curious_,' thought Sakura.

Sasuke took his kunai and launched it toward Naruto. The three looked on as the kunai made its way toward the ramen loving shinobi until the kunai was about 1 and a half feet away from its target. Worry spread throughout the group when they realized there was a chance that Naruto might not be able to stop the oncoming projectile…

That same worry was quickly eradicated when the kunai seemed to simply stop in mid-air, shaking and moving erratically as though it were a rat trying to wiggle its way into a small hole. Finally after a few seconds of moving, the kunai simply started to melt away until all that was left was hot black liquid that was then sent hurdling to the ground. Sakura looked on with wide eyes while Sasuke had a grin on his face. The dobe had gotten better.

At the same time Yamato watched the event with a mix of confusion and awe. He had seen that technique before, well some of it anyway, and it was a jutsu that he had thought only one man knew, that man being the most perverted of the legendary Sannin.

* * *

'_Looks like I'll be able to show off a little bit before the mission,_' thought Naruto as he started to gather chakra and focus on where he concluded would be the best spot to intercept the kunai. Due to the fact that Naruto wasn't nearly as efficient with the _Kaze Tate (Wind Shield)_ as his teacher was, it took a lot of effort on his part to actually use it.

Once the jutsu was ready Naruto activated it and it easily stopped the kunai. Naruto's grin grew even wider as he put his hands behind his head; this was the perfect chance to show off some more. The grin alerted his teacher that something was amiss.

"Naruto, don't try…" but it was too late. Naruto had already begun to melt the kunai. After a few seconds it had melted into a black liquid and fell to the ground. Jiraiya had a small look of irritation and relief on his face as he let out a breathe he didn't know he was hold, before he hit Naruto over the head with his fist.

"You baka, you and I both know that the last time you tried to melt something within the _Kaze Tate_ it exploded right in our faces! My incredibly handsome face was almost ruined!" screamed the Toad Sannin, while at the same time stroking the his chin with his right hand index finger and thumb to accentuate his 'sexy face'.

"Yea, I know," was the reply of the blonde as his eyes went squint and his grin grew wider. Naruto was about to continue on with his suggestions for his sensei's next _Icha Icha _book before he was tackled to the ground by a quick moving pink blur.

"Naruto, your finally back!" was the enthusiastic cry Naruto heard before he could properly get his bearings. On top of him was one Haruno Sakura with a smile on her face.

"Hi Sakura-chan!" was his reply as he put on a wide smile before he picked both himself and Sakura off the ground. Sakura had a small blush on her face. '_Naruto's become quite the looker,_' thought the kunoichi. Once Naruto brushed some dust off his clothes he looked to Jiraiya…

Only to see him with blood running down his nose.

Naruto looked in the direction in which his perverted teacher was looking, only to find that Sakura had, in lack of better terms, become freaking hot during their three year absence. Naruto could only barely suppress a nosebleed. Sakura had filled out nicely, was slightly taller, and was wearing something akin to what she wore at 15, except the skirt was a little shorter and semi-tight on her. Also her top was more form fitting and it had sleeves that went to her biceps. Her face and her hair, albeit a little longer, were pretty much the same as when he had last seen her. Not wanting to look like a perv, Naruto did what he thought was intelligent. This involved quickly sending a smile her way then looking at the other two people that had accompanied Sakura and not looking back at her until he could get his nosebleed under complete control.

"Yamato-sensei," said Naruto with a cursory nod. The man was exactly the same as when he had left.

"Naruto," replied the man as he returned the nod before going over to Jiraiya, looking as though he wanted to talk to him about something.

Finally, Sasuke was the only person that he had not greeted. Naruto looked over the Uchiha with squint eyes, as though he were examining him. This slightly annoyed Sasuke, but he brushed it off. Sasuke was wearing a white version of what he wore during his fight with Garra. He was now about Itachi's height and he had put on some more muscle than when Naruto had last seen him. His body however was still built slightly more for speed and ninjutsu than for strength and taijutsu.

"Sasuke-teme," Naruto greeted Sasuke as he opened his eyes fully and once again put his hands behind his head and smiled.

"Dobe," was the greeting that Naruto received as he saw Sasuke give him a rather friendly (or as close to friendly as someone like Sasuke could give) grin before cracking his knuckles. No words were needed before each one suddenly vanished, only to reappear in front of the village gates.

Sasuke took the initiative as he charged toward Naruto and threw a punch with his right hand, which Naruto easily dodged by ducking. Naruto then rose with a right handed uppercut, intending to hit Sasuke in the stomach. Sasuke quickly leaned back and only narrowly avoided getting hit on the chin. Sasuke then sent a roundhouse kick toward Naruto which he blocked with his arm before both of them leaped backwards, wanting to create space.

Both shinobi drew kunai from their weapons pouch and threw them straight toward each other with incredible speed and accuracy as both nin then charged toward one another. The kunai hit each other during their flight and flew backwards from the force. The tools continued going in opposite directions of each other before each one was grabbed by the ninja that had thrown it. Weapon in hand, both Naruto and Sasuke channeled chakra to their feet and leapt at each other as both of their kunai clashed, sending sparks flying. After a while they finally disengaged and put their kunai back in their weapons pouch. Both shinobi had looks of amusement on their faces as Sasuke began to speak.

"Not half bad, dobe," said Sasuke, with a smirk.

"Well, glad you think so teme because you suck even more than I remembered," was Naruto's comment as he also gave Sasuke a small smile. Sakura also smiled, it was great to see those two back to being friends/rivals.

**Flashback**

_Sasuke was strong, he knew that much. The group of four ANBU that were assigned to watch him were light work as far as he could tell. Sasuke however was also smart. The chances of him beating them were absolute, but the chances of their fight alarming other ninja in the village were just as high. Sasuke may be arrogant at times, but he had no illusions of being able to single-handedly take down Konoha. _

_Knowing this, Sasuke was content in the fact that the council had let him be reinstated as a ninja, albeit still a Gennin. As he arrived at Team 7's customary meeting bridge, he noticed that Naruto, who was leaning on the railing of the bridge, was the only one currently there. A small frown found its way to Sasuke's face. Ever since he arrived, Sasuke was curious as to how exactly the blonde nin had managed to bring him back. He however was not one to ask others anything, due to the fact it gave him a feeling of superiority doing everything on his own. However Sasuke saw this as the only chance he would have where he would be able to ask Naruto without anyone around. So with his mind set to ask Naruto, Sasuke swallowed some of his pride._

"_Oy dobe, can I… ask you something?" Sasuke said, pausing mid sentence wondering if he really wanted to go through with this. Naruto who was looking at his reflection in the water with solemn eyes only nodded his approval. Sasuke's frown became deeper. Ever since the council had decided to banish Naruto for three years, the pure ball of yellow haired energy had become rather forlorn. _

"_Well, I wanted to ask you," Sasuke paused, thinking of how to state the question, "where did you get the strength to bring me back?" finished Sasuke as he finally decided on how to phrase it. The reason of his asking was that Sasuke knew that Naruto had fought Orochimaru just moments before he found him. While Sasuke detested the snake bastard, he admitted that he was quite strong, and for Naruto to be able to fight him to a standstill then be able to knock him unconscious was quite amazing._

_Naruto seemed to take a while to absorb the question as he continued to look at his reflection, probably thinking of the best way to answer._

"_Teme, it's not really about where I got the strength, everyone has inner strenth, they just have to pull it out," was the reply Sasuke received. The Uchiha found himself forced to agree with the blonde. When worse came to worse, ninjas were known to be able to pull some crazy ass shit to save themselves. But most of the time ninjas just lacked the motivation to do so._

_"If you put it that way, how did you pull it out (a/n no homo)?" was Sasuke's new question._

_Naruto finally took his eyes off his reflection as he looked at Sasuke with a miniscule smile._

_"I always keep my promises," stated Naruto, referring to Sakura, "but I also always protect my friends, even if they suck," at the the blonde looked at the Uchiha._

_Sasuke's face was now as contorted with confusion as his bad ass image would allow. Naruto had found strength just because he wanted to protect him? Naruto who saw the bemused look on Sasuke's face, decided to continue._

"_Sasuke, you want power to kill Itachi, so you are willing to cut off your bonds and do anything to get stronger. I want power so I can become Hokage, and also so I can protect my bonds with my friends and people I love. The way we decided to get our power is different, and for maybe the first time, I chose the better option. You see when you choose my path, you get determination from wanting to protect your bonds with your friends and loved ones. This determination in turn turns into desire to be able to become stronger in order to crush anything or anyone that wants to harm them. This desire leads to strength, and with this strength you can not only protect those you care about, but also accomplish your goals," finished Naruto. Sasuke was impressed that Naruto was able to come up with something like that. Little did the Uchiha know that the Kyuubi container simply reworded a speech he had once been given by the Sandaime. _

_Thinking over everything Naruto said, Sasuke realized that he may very well be right. Sasuke, who had cut off his bonds with everyone, was technically beaten by Naruto, who wished to protect, preserve, and create bonds with almost everybody. _

'_Maybe… maybe power is easier to achieve when you have people you care for," thought Sasuke with a mental shrug, 'wouldn't hurt to try, seeing as how I'm not going to get to leave anytime soon'. With this thought in mind Sasuke began to become slightly (very very slightly) more open to those around him. He was still not exactly the most sociable person around, but he was definitely better than before. While most of the ninja continued to dislike him, they no longer loathed him like they did when he was first rescued. Sasuke would only get better during the three year time period that Naruto was banished, although the blonde shinobi's banishment had caused the raven haired avenger to become rather withdrawn for a while. He and Naruto had once again come to have a grudging respect for the other. And while neither nin knew it, during their whole conversation a certain pink haired kunoichi and silver haired pervert were watching. _

**Flashback Over**

Once done reminiscing, Sakura walked over to the other members of what had once been Team 7 in order to talk and catch up. While the three young nin were talking (well more like Naruto and Sakura talking, with Sasuke listening), Yamato took the opportunity to talk to Jiraiya.

"Jiraiya-sama, that jutsu Naruto used, was it the _Kaze Tate_?" asked Yamato, curious as to whether or not his sometimes student had really mastered a jutsu that not even the Yondaime could before he died. Jiraiya nodded.

"Yea it was the shield, but Naruto, to put it bluntly, sucks crap at it. We've been working on it for about a year now, and while his progress is incredible as usual, I believe that the Yondaime had gotten the concept of the jutsu down much better than the brat," Jiraiya explained before grinning, "despite this I am sure the brat will get it down eventually." Hearing Jiraiya explain something about a jutsu to Yamato, Sakura took both Sasuke and Naruto by the wrist and dragged them over to where the two older nin were.

"Excuse me Jiraiya-sama, but what is the _Kaze Tate_?"

"The _Kaze Tate _is a technique that requires no hand seals, but requires that the user has a natural affinity for wind to be used to its full potential. To state it simply, the _Kaze Tate _is like an invisible dome made of air, with the user located in the middle. Because the dome is made of air, the user can feel anything entering it. Once that happens the user can focus their chakra in that area and activate the _Kaze Tate_, causing the air to start moving and swirling around erratically. This movement effectively halts the progress of projectiles and can also disorientate incoming enemy nin. The better someone is with this technique, the larger the dome and the faster they can activate it. The weakness of this jutsu however is the high amount of chakra needed and the almost ungodly amount of chakra control required to use it."

"How come I've never seen you use it Jiraiya-sama?" inquired Sakura. The Toad Sannin in question grinned sheepshly before answering.

"To be honest because I don't have a strong affinity for wind I've never been able to use the _Kaze Tate_ to the extent that I wanted. Thus the jutsu became an every-once-in-a-while sort of thing."After taking a few seconds to digest this information, Sasuke spoke up.

"Jiraiya-sama, how was the dobe able to melt my kunai then?"

Jiraiya glanced over at Yamato, "Do they know about _it_?"

Yamato nodded, "They are currently the only ones in his age group in Konoha that know, Jiraiya-sama."

Jiraiya then looked over to Naruto, "How about you tell them gaki."

Naruto squinted his eyes before nodding, "Well teme, Sakura-chan, as you know I have the Kyuubi no Yoko sealed inside of me."

Both ninjas nodded, eyes somewhat downcast from being reminded of why their teammate was so despised in the village.

"Well a year into my training while I was talking to the fur ball, he told me that each of his tails control an element. The first five are the regular elements us shinobi use, the sixth is healing chakra, and the last three are ones that humans don't really know about or can use so I didn't worry about them. He told me that since that he was inside of me and I had accessed his chakra before, my chakra affinity for wind was fused with his affinity for his first six elements. The medical chakra I can't really use, but my body can use it without my telling it to, which is how to fox heals me. The other elements however I can use," explained Naruto.

"So that means you can mix elements, like how that Haku guy could make ice by using wind and water?" asked Sakura. Naruto shook his head.

"Since the chakra affinities are not naturally mine, the way I use them is different," Naruto said. Before anyone could ask any questions he formed a one handed seal and then said, "_Fuuton: Kaze_".

* * *

The Kyuubi sighed. Deciding on how to publish a book before even finishing it was rather useless. Deciding to worry about the problem later he once again started to speak.

"**The **_**'Successful Women's Guide to Perverts**_**' is a book created with such evil that even I shiver by the mere mention of its name. This book is similar to the book in which missing-nins are placed, called the **_**'Bingo Book'**_**. In the SWGTP however, the names of missing-nins are not placed, but the names of perverts. As in the bingo book, these perverts are given ****ranks, ranging from E to SSS. Along with the rank is a picture of the individual as well as a short description of their personality and what exactly they did to be put into the SWGTP. While no man knows how, if one woman feels the need to add the name of a certain man into the SWGTP, the name is also instantly added to the books of other women who posses a copy of the book. It is through this book that women everywhere are able to discover out identities… and then proceed to beat the living fuck out of us,**" were the biju's words as he closed his book and took out a copy of _Icha Icha Paradise 6: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Pervert. (Disclaimer: I've heard the Crouching Tiger part somewhere so just to be safe, don't own it)_. The Kyuubi let out as series of perverted giggles as he read.

"_**From one great writer to the next Jiraiya-dono," **_thought the Kyuubi as he read about some of the way women '_abused'_ animals such as tigers.

* * *

Chapter two is done.

Anyway please feel free to R/R


	3. Chapter 3: Fall of Hidan and Kazuku

"Talking"

'_Thinking and Jutsus'_ _Also Used For Emphasis_

"**Demons + Summons Talking" Also Used For Emphasis **

'_**Demons + Summons Thinking**__' _

'**Dark** Naruto **Thinking**'

"**Dark** Naruto **Talking**"

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

The Kyuubi, who had decided to once again start writing in his book, was troubled. Well maybe _troubled_ wasn't the right word really… he was more along the lines of _disturbed_. Yes _disturbed_ would most likely be the best words to describe the Kyuubi at this point in time. The reason the fox was disturbed was due to the fact that he felt something was amiss. But this something wasn't your everyday something, it was the _maleness_. The Kyuubi, feeling the disturbance in _maleness _the decided it would be a good time to write about it in his book, so he turned to the _Fun Facts_ section.

"**Along the eons of human life there have been certain driving forces that kept balance in the war of men and women. The women had their seemingly boundless intellect alongside their temper, which could easily topple any one hidden village. They also have their many technological breakthroughs, which will be explained in further detail later on in this section. The males, powerful as they are, have simply no understanding of how to counter their female counterparts. They lack the tact most women seem to possess as well as the patience when it comes to things that don't involve explosions and the works. There are numerous other disadvantages we males hold, one notable one being that we tend to think with our little head and not our big one, and yet we are not an extinct species. How you may ask?**" wrote the Kyuubi, all the while holding the air of one who knew the answer to the universe.

"**There is one, and only one, answer to how we males have managed to keep somewhat equal footing with the female sex. That answer is found in the _maleness_. The is something all us men possess which, among other abilities, allows us to tell male-good from male-bad. This ability has given us males our one and only way of defending ourselves from the females,**" finished the Kyuubi, all the while feeling the disturbance become more and more noticeable.

'_**The brat should be able to recognize walking death… shouldn't he?**__'_ The Kyuubi asked itself as he could feel the source of the disturbance come closer and closer.

* * *

**_Fast Foward 3 Days_**

'**_Fuck_**,_'_ mentally cursed the male blonde as he ran as he just narrowly avoided getting crushed by Kiba and Akamaru. However the same could not be said about Choji's fist as he was sent flying into a tree, _'maybe **taking** on **the** entire **Rookie** 9 **at** once **wasn't** that **smart** of **an** idea.'_

"_Kage Bunshin." _Once made, the clones immediately began to rush toward the original's enemies. Grinning as he watched his friends being forced to take on his doppelgangers, the blonde disappeared took off in the direction of Iwa. Once a good distance away from the fight, the blonde began to slow down until he ceased to move. Turning his gaze upwards, the male grinned as he looked into a pair Sharingan eyes.

"Yo, teme."

* * *

**_Present_**

"_Fuuton: Kaze,_" said Naruto while forming half a ram seal with his right hand. Wind started to swirl around the five person group, slowly at first, then faster until it had enough speed to pick up light objects, such as the rocks which were currently hitting Jiraiya. Said Sannin was currently contemplating on whether or not he would have showed Naruto this technique if he knew he would always get hit by these damned rocks.

The wind continued spinning and gaining speed until it started to compress into Naruto. It kept shrinking until it went from a mini tornado into one that barely went around blonde. Once the tornado seemed to stop lessening, the individual currents that made up the air mass commenced to move toward and entwine itself with Naruto in thin threads of wind. This continued until the tornado completely disappeared, and Naruto had wind moving all around him in a way akin to how sand moves around a certain Kazekage. Naruto then held out his right hand, which had wind swirling around it from his finger tips to the back of his shoulder, with his palm facing the ground. The group, save for Jiraiya, looked on with interest at what Naruto would do next…

That was until the blonde was sent pummeling to the ground, effectively dispersing the wind, due to the fist of one Gondaime Hokage.

"Guess whose name I found in the SWGTP, Naruto," Tsunade said in a voice that only Naruto could hear once the young nin rose from the small crater he was in. Turning to look at the Slug Sannin, Naruto could see a face that promised death, if not something worse. This face gave Kyuubi all he needed in order to find out what the cause of the disturbance was.

"**Get the fuck out of there brat, she's in the WARMABS state!**" The Kyuubi was frantic. Naruto was strong, there was no denying this statement, but no man was strong enough to face a woman in the WARMABS state. Naruto, hearing his tenant's scream, widened his eyes as he looked at all the males in the group.

"Baa-chan's in the WARMABS state!" he yelled before raising his right hand and using his currently active _Fuuton: Kaze_ jutsu to blow away the blonde Hokage. The eyes of the males went wide before Sasuke picked up Sakura and shouted for them to leave. Just as they were about to do so the earth shook as Tsunade seemed to materialize in front of them. The males could only look on with terror as Tsunade started to come closer. The Sannin's advance however was halted when the two Chuunin from the first chapt… I mean from earlier came in between the group and the Hokage.

"Uzumaki-san, please take you and your group to safety," said one of the Chuunin while slowly taking out his spear.

"You will be killed," calmly stated Naruto as he got ready to make a hasty exit.

"We are well aware of that fact, Uzumaki-san," said the other Chuunin. Naruto and the rest of the group took this as their cue to run like hell as they took off into the trees that surrounded Konoha. After about five minutes the nin started to put as much chakra as they could into their leaps when they heard the manly girlish screams of the two Chuunin as they fell to the onslaught of the only female Sannin. When the group felt they were a sufficient distance away from Konoha Sasuke put down Sakura as the group stopped in front of an area with a rather low amount of trees. With a simple nod towards the other males of the group, Sasuke started _the ritual_.

"_Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu," _whispered Sasuke after forming the appropriate hand seals to perform said jutsu. The Uchiha then commenced the blow fire from his mouth, thusly burning the trees and grass and forming a rather spacious clearing shaped in a circle. Once all the trees and most of the grass were burnt down, Naruto walked into the middle of the clearing and knelt on his right knee as he placed his right hand on the ground. Once again forming half a ram seal with his left hand, Naruto began to gather chakra. The result was him once again activating the _Fuuton: Kaze_ jutsu as wind sent from his right hand blew away the ashes left by the late trees and grass.

Sakura watched the two boys with interest, and could just barely make out the form of Yamato performing a jutsu that seemed to cause the grass to grow along with many beautiful flowers. She then looked to see Jiraiya take out a scroll, do a few hand seals, and then take out two tombstones, which were oddly enough shaped like very well endowed women. The Sannin then proceeded to place the tombstones into the center of the clearing and take out a book which Sakura recognized as the SWGTP _(Successful Women's Guide To Perverts)_. After some skimming of the book, Jiraiya seemed to find what he was searching for as he started to engrave names into the tombstone, though Sakura could not see the names very well from her position. Once done, the Toad Sannin motioned for the other males to come closer with his hand, before they all knelt down in front of the tombstones and began a prayer that she couldn't quite hear.

After a good 15 minutes the shinobi got up and signaled for Sakura to join them as they got ready to leave. Once they were out of the clearing the group once again stopped as Naruto and Jiraiya took out seals with the kanji for _Man_ on it and placed it all over the edges of the area. Once done, the group once again took off, never once looking back.

'_What the…_' started Sakura.

* * *

'…_fuck,'_ finished Ino.

There are a number of people who think blondes are rather dense. However this statement could be easily proved false if one got to know Yamanka Ino. Ino, like Sakura, was everything a village could ask a kunoichi to be. She was strong, lithe, smart, and beautiful. She had long, beautiful platinum blonde hair tied into a ponytail with some hair covering the left side of her angelic face. She had a slightly curvier and more developed figure than her rival, but only due to her rigorous and effective diet she was constantly on and was around 5'3" in height. She wore a formfitting light purple tank top and wore semi-tight sweatpants that were a darker shade of purple.

However despite the blonde's intelligence, she was nowhere near smart enough to understand why Kakashi, Shikamaru, Choji, and those two Akatsuki guys were currently praying in front of two womanly-shaped tombstones.

'_One minute we're fighting, and the next they are performing this freaking… whatever the hell it is,'_ thought Ino. After the group looked to be done praying, Kakashi got up, took out some seals, and placed them around the tombstones. Ino then watched as Shikamaru and Hidan left to go back to where they were fighting before _the ritual_ started.

Once the two were out of the area, Kakashi turned his head to look at Kakuzu, before vanishing in a puff of smoke and appearing in front of him. Kakashi then threw a punch, which the Akatsuki blocked, before attempting a kick aimed at his ribs. Kakuzu leapt away from the kick, and threw several kunai and shuriken, which the silver haired nin promptly countered with his own. The two then ran towards each other and commenced a taijutsu battle as Choji and Ino watched, with the former performing a series of hand seals.

"_Baika no Jutsu,_" yelled the Akimichi as he turned into a large ball and made his way toward the Akatsuki member. Kakuzu cursed as he had to jump to avoid being flattened, giving Kakashi the time he needed to uncover his Sharingan and start a series of hand seals.

"_Raikiri,_" he said as he charged toward Kakuzu once he landed on the ground. Not having enough time to evade the attack, Kakuzu put his hands up in an attempt to stop the attack, using one of his masks to activate his _KuroganeKarada_ jutsu at the same time. However due to him using a rock element jutsu to try and stop a lightning one, Kakashi was able to easily penetrate the Akatsuki members defense as he stabbed said members heart. Kakuzu smirked as he felt one of his masks break.

'_Probably think I'm dead,_' he thought. After Kakashi pulled out his hand from Kakuzu's chest, he leapt back and prepared another _Raikiri_. This surprised Kakuzu, who was confident in the fact that none of the ninja he was facing would know of his masks and hearts. Before Kakashi could finish charging his attack, Kakuzu disposed of his cloak and attempted to impale the nin with his numerous threads. Kakashi cursed as he abandoned his jutsu and barely dodged the attack, getting slightly cut on his left shoulder.

"It seems you know of my special ability," stated Kakuzu as his remaining three masks hovered around him, each mask being connected to his back via threads.

"Konoha is praised for having the best data network of all the hidden villages," replied Kakashi as he took out a kunai and watched as Choji joined him. He was happy to see Ino stay a safe distance away from the battle, she was the medic of the team after all.

"So I've heard," said Kakuzu as the pair of Konoha nin charged at him. His lion mask then started to radiate with chakra before blowing fire at the ground in front of him, effectively cutting off Kakashi and Choji. His bird mask then blew a massive gust of wind, which caused it to combine with the fire and send itself right at Kakashi and Choji. Realizing that Choji wasn't fast enough to escape the attack, Kakashi grabbed his collar and threw him out of the way. However due to the time it took to save Choji, Kakashi was not able to fully dodge the attack and the result was his left leg being hit and getting badly burnt in the process.

'_Shit,_" thought the Copy nin as the bird and lion mask once again blew a combination of wind and fire at them. Kakashi managed to dodge the attack despite his injured leg but had no time to rest as he started forming hand seals in order to stop whatever attack Kakuzu's ox mask was preparing. When Kakashi saw the ox fire two lightning bolts he mentally cursed due to the fact he picked an earth jutsu.

"_Doton: Doryuheki,_" he said as he spit out mud from his mouth which quickly turned into a large wall made of rock. The wall managed to absorb the impact of the first lightning bolt, however it fell before the second one even hit it. With all of the distraction that came with a large rock wall being destroyed, Kakashi was not able to dodge the second lightning bolt, which managed to hit his right shoulder.

'_Well, it can't get any worse,'_ thought Kakashi as he clutched his right shoulder with his left hand and struggled to stand, putting all of his weight on his right leg. He looked up to see Choji and Kakuzu engaged in a taijutsu battle, with Choji looking to have the upper hand. This changed however once Kakuzu managed to create enough space between himself and the Akimichi to hit him with his bird mask's wind. Choji was blown away as the Akatsuki member once again turned his attention towards Kakashi.

'_Well guess I have no choice,'_ thought Kakashi as he prepared to use his Mangekyo Sharingan. However before he could do so Kakuzu suddenly lost a heart, and at the same time Kakashi could have sworn he heard that Hidan guy cursing, most likely at Shikamaru. Kakuzu then mumbled something about immortal idiots before replacing his heart with the bird mask. While doing so Ino managed to get past him and started to heal Kakashi. She managed to heal most of his left leg, however before she could finish she heard the sound of Kakuzu moving. She turned around and saw a large number of threads coming toward her.

'_Damn, guess it can get worse_' thought Kakashi as he and Ino looked toward their impending doom. However before the threads managed to get within 3 yards of them they suddenly stopped as a tall figure with blonde hair, hand in pockets, stood halfway between them and the threads. Said figure then turned his head around to look toward them with playful eyes and a foxy grin.

"Hi Kakashi-sensei, Ino-chan!" he exclaimed before turning his entire body to look at them.

"Yo," greeted Kakashi as he covered his Sharingan and waved his hand at Naruto. If one looked closely you could see his smile under his mask and that his uncovered eye seemed to be smiling.

"Hi N..Naruto," Ino greeted as she looked at Naruto before returning his grin with a smile.

'_Naruto's become pretty hot_,' thought Ino, not realizing while she was looking over Naruto, said nin was trying with every ounce of his being not to allow himself, or rather 'mini Naruto', to rise to attention.

'_Why the hell are all the girls in the Rookie Nine ending up so hot?'_

"**Are you seriously complaining brat?"**

'_Guess not,'_

"So Naruto, decided to play hero or what?" asked Ino, commenting on how close she and Kakashi had been to death before Naruto intervened. This caused Naruto to scratch the back of his head as a drop of sweat found its way towards his cheek.

"Umm..."

"Umm what?"

"Umm in that that was exactly what he intended to do Ino-pig," said a voice from behind Ino. When both she and Kakashi turned around they saw Sakura, Sasuke, Yamato and Jiraiya.

"The dobe actually made us wait in the trees as he prepared his _Kaze Tate_ jutsu to stop whatever attack he deemed would make him look cool when he stopped it," stated Sasuke.

'_Kaze Tate, eh?' _thought Kakashi

"So just how long were you guys in the trees, Sasuke?" questioned Ino.

"Around 10 minutes," stated the Uchiha as he watched Ino turn around and point at Naruto.

"What the fuck? We could have died and all you cared about was looking cool," asked Ino. Naruto put his hands up in an attempt to calm the other blonde.

"It's not like that Ino-chan, my jutsu just takes time to prepare that's all, besides, I'll never let any of my precious people get hurt," said Naruto, hoping she would buy that. Ino looked at Naruto with a hard glare before sighing.

"You're lucky I'm too tired right now to kick your ass, Naruto," she said before looking at Naruto with a small smile, "now go kick that Akatsuki guy's ass." When she saw Naruto give her a grin and a nod, she couldn't help but feel a little happy Naruto considered her a precious person. This caused her to remember why Naruto thought of her as one in the first place.

_**Flash Back**_

_Uzumaki Naruto and Yamanka Ino aren't what you would call good friends. Sure they were friends, but they weren't the type of friends who would purposely go out of their way in order to hang out with each other or announce to one another they were friends. They were the sort of friends that would really only hang out if they happened to bump into each other, without ever knowing whether the other thought of them as a friend or not. And today, just a few hours after Asuma's funeral, was no different._

_Ino was currently sitting next to a river with her knees to her chest. To say she was depressed would be accurate if one were to judge by the look on her face. However on the inside she was only slightly depressed, and was simply tired and deep in thought._

'_If I was as good at healing as Sakura, maybe he could have survived long enough to make it back to Konoha,' was the thought that plagued the blonde's mind. If she had trained harder, would her sensei, who was like an uncle to her, still be alive? As she was thinking she could hear someone calling her name but she was too entranced in her thoughts to bother looking. This seemed to irritate whoever was calling her as they simply called out her name louder and made their way to her. When Ino finally looked to see who it was she was surprised to see Konoha's loudest male ninja._

"_What do you want Naruto?" asked the female blonde._

"_Nothing really, just saw you sitting here so I decided you needed some company," said the male._

"_And who gave you the ability to know what I need?" questioned Ino._

"_Probably someone important," stated Naruto with a foxy grin. This made Ino smile a little as she looked at Naruto._

"_Naruto…"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_It's hard losing someone who's important to you," said Ino, with a solemn looking smile, "you think that they will be with you forever, and then one day they are gone. I keep thinking that if I had been a better medic, I could have helped him," said Ino in a sad whisper. Naruto looked at Ino then at the river as he thought about what she said._

"_I know what you mean. It's how I felt like when Sasuke-teme first left. He was like a brother to me, and when I couldn't bring him back I kept wondering if it would have been different had I been stronger," started Naruto, "but you know Ino, it's important to know you get more than one chance." Ino had a puzzled look on her face as she looked at her fellow blonde._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Just because you couldn't save Asuma-sensei, it doesn't mean you won't be able to save someone else down the road. I realized that just because I couldn't save Sasuke at the Valley of the End didn't mean I wouldn't have another chance to save him. And a few years later look at what happens, after some training, the great Uzumaki Naruto-sama managed to bring the teme back," said Naruto with a small smile_

'_And get banished for it' thought Naruto bitterly as his smile disappeared. Ino thought about what Naruto said before letting a small smile find its way towards her face Naruto was right. She had failed Asuma and she would always be a little sad about that, no matter how old she got, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't have a chance to save someone else. _

"_That's a pretty smart thing for an idiot to say," said Ino, while looking at Naruto._

"_Probably because Ero-Sennin was the one that gave me that speech, I just modified it," said Naruto._

"_I should have known, wait, who's Ero-Sennin?"_

"_Tell you later."_

"_Well, why don't you tell me while eating, I haven't eaten all day," stated Ino as she grabbed Naruto and dragged him up._

"_I know where we can eat!" exclaimed Naruto._

"_I'm not eating ramen," stated Ino in a deadpan voice._

"_Please Ino-chan?" Naruto said in a pleading voice as he started begging like a child. Ino sighed as she decided she wasn't in the mood to fight with Naruto. _

"_Fine let's go,"_

"_Good, it's a date then, Ino-chan," said Naruto as they started walking._

"_You wish, Naruto-__**kun**__," Ino teased, adding emphasis to the –Kun. _

"_Sorry, forgot I wasn't Sasuke-teme for a second,"_

"_Psh, don't mix me up with one of his fan girls, if I really wanted him I could have had Sasuke like that," Ino snapped her fingers, "I only acted like I liked him so I could push Sakura into trying harder to get him," said Ino, raising her chin so as to show her superiority._

_"You sure are modest, Ino-chan." This reply resulted in Naruto landing face first into the ground._

_"With the things so you say, I can sometimes swear you're a masochist," Ino spoke with a sigh. Naruto for his part pulled his face out of the ground and grinned at the blonde female._

_"Wouldn't you like to know." Ino, while she should have been indignant, couldn't help but giggle at how amusing the blonde male was before she offered him her hand and helped him off the ground. _

"_Thanks, Naruto," Ino said sincerely as both she and Naruto began walking._

"_Anything for a friend, Ino-chan," said Naruto with a foxy grin._

**_Flash Back Over_**

Ino smiled as she remembered the memory, going back to healing Kakashi soon after.

* * *

Naruto sighed as he looked at the Akatsuki member. This would be tiring. Naruto then took his right hand out of his pocket as he attempted to remove his sword from its sheath, however the straight-edged nodachi wouldn't budge.

'_Thing still won't come out eh?_' thought Naruto, '_oh well.' _With that thought Naruto, for the third time today, performed half a ram seal with his right hand as he looked toward Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei, what's this guys natural chakra affinity?"

"I'd say rock," was Kakashi's reply as he took out an orange book. However he quickly put it away once he heard the name of Naruto's jutsu.

"_Fuuton: Kaze_"

'_So Jiraiya-sama did teach him his two jutsus,'_ thought the older of the two present Sharingan users. Wind once again started circling around and entwining with Naruto, until he was surrounded by many thin air currents.

"Watch closely guys, you too freak," said Naruto, referring to his friends and the Akatsuki member, "this is how I combine my chakra affinity, with _his_," Naruto said, not wanting to expose the truth about the Kyuubi to both Ino and Choji. Just as it had been before he was interrupted by Tsunade last time, Naruto held out his right hand as wind shifted all around it. After a few seconds, the people present watched as blue sparks of lightning started to randomly ignite around Naruto's hand and arm, until the lightning managed to keep itself maintained long enough for it to seemingly wrap itself around the wind.

"Unlike people who are born with a chakra affinity, only jutsu with wind nature are noticeably augmented by my affinity for wind. Every other elemental jutsu is made stronger only by a small degree. I also can't combine a jutsu with any element besides wind, so really the only way I can use the affinities…" started Naruto as the lightning started to wrap around the wind all over Naruto's body.

"Is by materializing the element and wrapping it around the wind created in the _Fuuton: Kaze_ jutsu," he finished as the lightning also finished wrapping around the wind. The end result was Naruto having numerous thin threads of wind that had lightning merged, or in Naruto's words _wrapped_, with/around it. Naruto then smirked as he raised the palm of his right hand and pointed it in the direction of Kakuzu.

"Let's go, you... whatever the hell you are!" exclaimed Naruto, bemused by how to best describe his opponent.

'_Fuck it once I kill him it won't matter what he is,'_ he reasoned as he sent a large gust of lightning-powered wind toward Kakuzu. Kakuzu cursed as he moved to the right to dodge the attack, only for him to be hit by another gust of wind sent by Naruto's left hand. The attack blew Kakuzu away and produced numerous cuts, all of which were also giving of small sparks of lightning. Not giving the Akatsuki any time to gather himself, Naruto ran toward him and engaged in a taijutsu battle by throwing a lightning-wind powered punch at his head. Kakuzu blocked it, but the combination of wind and lightning cut his arms and sent electricity throughout his body. Kakuzu attempted a kick to the boy's legs, despite the fact he was sure he would be blocked or evaded. However to his surprise he managed to hit the boy's legs, causing him to lose balance and start to fall to his left.

Naruto merely smirked as he fell. The kick had been weak since Kakuzu didn't expect his attack to hit. Using his opponent's surprise to his advantage, Naruto kicked Kakuzu's head as he landed on his left hand and flipped away from him, getting into a fighting stance.

* * *

"I see you taught him your two personal jutsu, Jiraiya-sama," stated Kakashi while watching as Naruto once again charged toward the Akatsuki who was currently recovering from the kick the blonde gave him. Jiraiya nodded.

"I see you also thought him the taijutsu style you developed," added Kakashi. Jiraiya once again nodded. Kakashi smiled at this before he started letting out perverted giggles.

"Does he know about the other use of your _taijutsu_ style?"

"Hell yeah," said Jiraiya, who was also letting out a series of perverted giggles.

"Excuse me Jiraiya-sama, but what two jutsu and taijutsu style are you talking about," asked Sakura. It took awhile for both Jiraiya and Kakashi to stop giggling, but once done Jiraiya started to explain.

"Well you most of you guys know about the _Kaze Tate_ already, but since those two over there weren't there," he said pointing to Choji and Ino, "I'll explain what it is again." He said before explaining the _Wind Shield_ again. Once done he began to explain what the other jutsu was.

"The other jutsu of my own invention that I taught him was the _Fuuton: Kaze_. The jutsu simply causes wind to gather around the user, allowing them to blow wind from parts of their body, as well as using the wind to enhance their taijutsu. Like the _Kaze Tate_, only those with a wind affinity can use it," explained the Toad Sannin.

"While the justu is fairly simple, because of Naruto's _special ability_, he can materialize any element into the wind and fuse them together," Jiraiya smirked before coninuing, "but because the kid has the chakra control of a rock he can only do one element at a time, and even then he can only keep it up for so long."

"Lastly his tai…" started Jiraiya, but was interrupted as a large blast filled the area. Looking to where the source of the blast came from, Jiraiya was greeted with the sight of a large swirling dome of chakra, which contained Kakuzu.

'_Oh fuck no,' _thought Jiraiya.

"Naruto, why the hell did you use that?" Jiraiya yelled.

* * *

Naruto sighed as he once again knocked Kakuzu back with a punch to his stomach. Using the _Kaze Tate_ to stop all those threads when he first arrived was a little tiring. Using the _Fuuton: Kaze _along with lightning was even more tiring. Then if you add the fact that Kakuzu managed to get a few hits in and you get a somewhat tired blonde nin. Naruto blew another gust of lightning-wind at Kakuzu when he saw the Akatsuki had managed to pick himself up.

'_I'm a have to ask Baa-chan to work on my chakra control when I get back to Konoha,'_ thought the blonde, '_but right now, I guess I'll just finish this up.'_

"_Kage Bunshin," _he said while performing the appropriate hand seal. One clone poofed into existence as Naruto started gathering chakra into his right hand.

"_Rasengan_," once the ball of swirling chakra was formed, the clone started to put wind chakra into it. Once done it poofed back out of existence.

"_Fuuton: Rasengan,"_ said Naruto as the _Rasengan_ gained a wind affinity to it. Finally Naruto took a deep breath as he started to reshape the _Rasengan_.

"_Fuuton: Rasenshuriken," _he stated as the wind _Rasengan_ took on the shape of a large shuriken. Kakuzu looked on in both awe and worry.

'_If that hits me I'm done,'_ he thought before looking over Naruto's condition, '_but that jutsu looks to take a good amount of chakra. The kids breathing has become more labored that before.'_

"Oy thread thing mask guy, it's over," proclaimed Naruto as he began his charge toward the Akatsuki. Kakuzu deployed his threads in an attempt to stop him, but Naruto had planned ahead, using his _Kaze Tate_ that he had formed before his charge. Going around the shield and threads that were in his path, Naruto leapt into the air, intent on crushing his opponent under the force of his jutsu. As he was coming down Kakuzu managed to retract his threads and make space between him and the blonde haired nin. Naruto groaned as he saw him move from his position in the air.

'_Damn I only have 6 inches of space to work with, hope it's enough,'_

"Kai," whispered Naruto as he moved his arm in a throwing motion as if he was playing frisbee. The result was his _Rasenshuriken_ leaving his hand and moving through the air. Kakuzu widened his eyes as he saw the shuriken made of chakra make its way toward him.

'_Shit,'_ was his last thoughts before being hit by the attack and being enveloped in a large swirling dome of chakra. The chakra started to cut his entire body as he felt his remaining two masks break.

"Naruto, why the hell did you use that?" Naruto heard Jiraiya yell.

"I was getting sorta tired Ero-Sennin so I decided to end it," Naruto said as he looked at the group with his hands behind his head. When he saw them he saw most of them were looking in awe at the huge chakra dome that was behind him, with both Kakashi and Sasuke using their Sharingans to see what was happening inside.

"Kickass isn't it?" said Naruto with a grin as he made his way toward the group.

"Shouldn't you at least check to make sure he's dead, Naruto?" asked Choji.

"I would, but to be honest I'm pretty tired," Naruto stated as the other nin face faulted. Naruto gave them his foxy grin before sitting down on the ground.

"Now all we have to do is wait for Shikamaru to get back." The moment the male blonde said this, the lazy strategist made his way toward the group, cigarette in hand as he waved at Naruto.

"Oy Naruto, see your jutsus are still troublingly flashy," stated the Nara while looking over the destruction caused by Naruto's jutsu.

"Better believe it, Shikamaru," stated Naruto. While the two greeted each other, Sakura looked over both Shikamaru and Naruto. Out of the two of them Shikamaru looked to be more injured, and since she was the better medic out of her and Ino she would be the one to heal him.

"Hey Ino, I'll go heal Shikamaru, you get Naruto alright?" asked Sakura, who was quickly answered with a nod. Ino made her way over to her fellow blonde, dropping to her knees as she began preparing to heal him. The female decided to start on his arms which had a few minor cuts, however when she tried putting healing chakra into the wounds, she could feel her chakra being repelled. This puzzled Ino as she tried to put more chakra into the wounds, only for the chakra to once again be turned back.

"Oy, Naruto, how come I can't heal the wounds on your arms?" asked the puzzled medic. Naruto looked at her before looking at his arms before smiling sheepishly.

"Oh yea, sorry Ino-chan," said Naruto as he started to unwrap the bandages around his arms, "these bandages are special," he said once he finished unwrapping his right arm, "they repel any chakra that is aimed to effected my cells," he finished once he unwrapped his left arm.

"Why would you need those?" asked Ino while she once again went to work into healing Naruto's arms.

"Because that jutsu you saw me to back there on that thread thing mask guy, the _Fuuton: Rasenshuriken_ effects anything in or close to it at a cellular level, messing up with the cells ability to produce and use chakra. And since I can only throw the jutsu a maximum of 6 inches so far, I'm always close by when I use it," started Naruto.

"So to counter your own jutsu, you wear the bandages right?" finished Ino. She got a nod in reply. Once done with his arms, Ino went down to Naruto's legs.

"Naruto, Jiraiya-sama was explaining to us something about your taijutsu style, but before he could finish you used your _Rasenshuriken_," she said as she started healing Naruto's left leg, "could you tell me about it?"

'_Oh crap,' _thought Naruto. His taijutsu style, invented by Jiraiya himself, didn't have the type of proud name most fighting styles have. In fact if Naruto had to judge, the name probably made the fighting style seem more like a joke than anything else. Then there was the fact that this particular style also had that _other_ use…

"Sorry Ino-chan, I can't remember the name of the style, but I can explain it to you," lied Naruto.

"Ok,"

'_Good_.'

"The taijutsu style actually pretty simple. Aside from having to learn a few punches, kicks, and some other flashier stuff, all you really have to do is be creative and do what your opponents least expects," explained the male blonde.

"What kind of use does that have?" asked the female.

"It's really all about taking them by surprise. They throw a punch that they know you will dodge just to create some space, but you instead take the hit. The fact that they hit will stun them for maybe half a second, enough for you to punch the crap out of them."

"I guess it makes sense," Ino said as she pursed her lips together and tapped her chin, "the style kinda fits you perfectly, Naruto."

'_After all, no one could use a taijutsu style based on surprises better than Naruto,'_

"Naruto, Kakashi-sensei and Jiraiya-sama also said something about there being another use for your fighting style," stated Ino.

'_Well shit,'_ thought Naruto.

"You see, that's kinda a secret Ino-ch…" Naruto started while he looked at Ino's face… which ended up being a bigger mistake then allowing the Kyuubi to show him that 'For _Mature_ Shinobi' only video… which ended up being for only _very_ mature shinobi… The second Ino heard the word _secret_ she went into the immediate female mindset that males have no secrets, as long as you are willing to pry it out of them. She put on the cutest pout she could while putting on a disappointed look on her face, the kind you would find on a child when you don't give them candy. She also put on puppy dog eyes that seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"Are you sure you can't tell me, Naruto-kun?" Ino asked innocently, while on the inside she was congratulating herself after seeing Naruto on the verge of breaking.

'_I'll have to thank mom for teaching me this when I get back home,'_

'_Damn whatever evil spirit does this kind of shit to me!!'_ Thought Naruto, who was being pushed way passed his normal limits by Ino's face, '_why is it that I can beat down Akatsuki members, but I can't stop a puppy dog face to save my ramen?'_

"**I resent that evil spirit crack,**_" _the Kyuubi stated, a small amount of mirth in his voice. He enjoyed it when the brat was put in situations like these. It really broadened his insight on human life, which would in turn make his book all the better.

'_Think fast Naruto you got this, let's see, she probably knows about the Fuuton: Kaze_ _so maybe she would want to see it up close?'_

"Oy, Ino-chan want to see me use my _Fuuton: Kaze_ jutsu?" asked the blonde, hoping to any god that would listen.

"**If you would hope to a demon instead of a god, at least you can guarantee one would listen,**" suggested the Kyuubi.

'_Shut up or I never go on research trips with Ero-Sennin again,'_ warned Naruto, which easily enough silenced the biju.

"That'd be nice, Naruto," smiled Ino, easily transitioning her face from one on the verge of cutely crying to one that brimmed with happiness. Mentally thanking whatever god saved him, Naruto once again activated his _Fuuton: Kaze_. When one was as close as Ino was, they could see that the movement o the wind was rather fun to watch.

"Naruto, could you add an element to the wind for me?" asked Ino. Naruto, who was content to give Ino anything she wished for at this point simply due to the fact that he didn't want to have to bother whatever holy deity had spared him, complied by adding water to the wind. The result was the water and wind moving all around Naruto, and due to the sun, which just begun the process of setting, caused light to dance with the water, making for a rather pleasant sight. Naruto, always being the attention grabber, then gathered wind and water into his hand, forming what looked to be a large _Rasengan_ that wasn't as compressed, so as to show the individual currents that made it. Ino, as well as the rest of the group who had since joined them as soon as Naruto used his jutsu, were amused by the way the light played with the water.

"That's a pretty cool plaything, dobe," came a rare compliment from Sasuke. Naruto grinned as he then started to expand and then compress the orb of wind-water. This however proved to be a mistake when Ino leaned over most of Naruto's body to see it from their position on the ground. The result was a lot of contact, as well as a generous view of Ino's ample assets.

'_Well I hate asking favors when I already owe somebody, but whatever god is out there please help!'_

However this time it seemed that either no god was listening, or they had better things to do as Naruto lost most of his concentration due to Ino unknowingly focusing much of his blood to lower parts of his body. Due to Naruto's lack of concentration, the orb in his hand, as well as all the wind-water swirling around him, seemingly erupted, getting both him and the whole group wet. Due to the fact that the wind-water exploded outwards instead of inwards, Naruto was actually the least wet of them all, but due to Ino being as close as she was, she looked like she just got hit by a large but non-damaging Suiton jutsu.

"Umm, oops, sorry Ino-chan," said Naruto with a foxy grin, knowing deep down that those could very well be his last words.

"NARUTO!" yelled a fuming Ino as she punched Naruto, forming a small crater in the ground, "you have no idea how lucky you are that Tsunade-sama likes you!"

'_Guess I'll have to thank Baa-chan later then_,' thought Naruto in his crater. Deciding that he didn't want Ino mad at him for the entire time it would take to get to the village, Naruto thought of what he could do to at least somewhat soothe her anger. Looking at the only other blonde, Naruto got an idea as he unrolled a scroll and did a few hand seals. After a puff of smoke, Naruto held an exact copy of the large, light orange shirt he was wearing, save for the fact that the right sleeve wasn't ripped. Naruto grinned mischievously as he put a little bit of wind chakra into the shirt.

"I'm sorry Ino-chan, here, you can change into this if you want," said Naruto, hoping Ino would take the shirt and not hit him again. Ino glared at Naruto for a while before she sighed as she mumbled a thank you before heading into the forest to change. However before she made it she turned around again, this time sporting a rather noticeable blush.

"Naruto, there aren't any pants here!" she yelled. Naruto grinned while apologizing and saying he didn't have any. The group could hear Ino curse before she yelled and asked Sakura to help her change. Once they left Sasuke spoke up.

"You have extra pants don't you dobe?" Naruto nodded as he took out a scroll and threw it in the air.

"Think fast, teme," Naruto said as Sasuke nodded.

"_Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu_" the large fireball easily incinerated the scroll. Once done, Sasuke smirked at Naruto.

"Quite the pervert, eh Naruto?"

"Hell yea," replied the blonde.

'_I knew this day would come! I'm so proud of them, working together for the great good,'_ thought both Jiraiya and Kakashi. Moments later the female duo returned.

"**The blonde kunoichi looks rather attractive in your clothing,**" mentally stated the Kyuubi. Naruto felt inclined to agree. Being comfortably taller than Ino, Naruto's clothing reached somewhat passed her knees and slightly passed her elbows. Ino's assets were also still easily viewable, and if Naruto were to judge, he would say that Ino looked better in orange than purple, although his personal bias towards the color was probably a factor. Also Ino looked quite nice with her platinum blonde hair down. What Naruto noticed the most however was that with every step, the shirt would bounce up and down enthusiastically, giving a nice view of Ino's shapely legs and thighs.

'_I love having a wind affinity,_' thought Naruto watching the shirt, or more accurately what was under it.

"Naruto you're carrying me back home!" yelled a still somewhat irritated blonde. Naruto was once again thanking whatever god blessed him for this, but didn't want to seem like a pervert so started to act.

"Why Ino-chan?" Naruto asked with a feigned puzzled look.

"Why? Because this shirt of yours rises up like hell when I take a small step! I wouldn't be surprised if it came off all together if I was running!" answered Ino.

'_Maybe I should let her run then…' _thought Naruto. Deciding he had bothered the gods enough for one day, he moved toward Ino and picked her up bridal style. Ino blushed at Naruto's forwardness and feel of his body.

"Ok then, now that we're ready to leave," started Jiraiya while looking everyone over, "let's go."

* * *

As the group made their way to Konoha, Ino found herself getting sleepy after the fight and all. There was also the fact that that she was being carried by a one of the stronger shinobi in the village and one of her better friends, which meant all she would have to do is close her eyes and she could trust in the fact that she would awake to find herself in Konoha safe and sound. Finally there was Naruto's shirt, which had a nice scent of pineapple, which Ino found to be quite pleasant.

'_Probably a new flavor of ramen,_' she reasoned. As she was thinking she found herself letting out a small yawn before becoming enveloped in the bliss that was sleep as she cuddled herself into Naruto's chest for warmth. Naruto gave a small smile, while Kyuubi felt a stirring within his cage.

"**Nee-chan so good to see you up and about,**" the Kyuubi said, making sure his container did not hear him.

When the group finally neared Konoha in the middle of the night, they were surprised to find a large group of villagers gathered at the gate with torches for light, most of whom seemed quite angry. They were allowed to gather there without any trouble due to the fact the two Chuunin stationed there had been, to put it mildly, disposed of by a **WARMABS** Tsunade. Both Jiraiya and Naruto mentally sighed.

"Damn it Ero-Sennin, I told you we were three days to early," Naruto said irately.

"Fine, so I was wrong one time out of 20, sue me brat," replied the Sannin.

"If I were to sue you all I'd get is a huge amount of porno books!" countered Naruto.

'_Maybe I should sue him…'_ thought the blonde after thinking for a while.

"What do you mean you were three days early Naruto?" asked Choji.

"I mean that I was banished 2 years and 362 days ago, so I technically have 3 more days of _banishment_. But Ero-Sennin" said Naruto, bitterly when he got to the word banishment, while pointing irritatingly and his Sannin teacher, "thought that the villagers wouldn't notice."

"I'm sure the villagers wouldn't mind that much that you came three days early, I mean you got banished for a bad reason anyway."

'_If only it were like that,_' thought Naruto with a hint of sadness and anger in his eyes.

Once they reached the gate, they were approached by a middle-aged looking man with black eyes and hair. He had a hard face and was rather tall with a muscular build. He had a look of disgust on his face when he saw Naruto.

"Put down the girl and be gone demon, the Uchiha over there has allowed us to have three more demon free days," he stated while crossing his arms. Naruto sighed. He had learned the day he got banished that the only people a shinobi should care for were his friends, family, loved ones, and allies, and everything else was disposable.

'_**As** disposable **as** these **villagers**_,' he thought while his eyes seemed to change somewhat, going from annoyed to spiteful.

**'**_**For** most **of** my **life**, the **only** thing **most** of **the** village **did** was **hate** me, **try** to **kill** me, **and** call **me** a **demon**. So **screw** it, **if** they **want** a **demon**, who **am** I **to** deny **them**?'_

"_Kage Bunshin,_" he whispered without forming the appropriate hand seals. However even without them a clone still poofed into existence. Naruto then gave the clone the responsibility of holding Ino as the real Naruto then looked at his friends.

"If you don't want to see this," he said while taking out a kunai, "turn around." Sasuke smirked as he leaned against a nearby tree.

"Hurry up dobe, I want to get home." While Sasuke was against killing villagers, if they called his closest friend a demon then they deserved to die. Besides, as cold as it sounded, the lives of 20 or so villagers wouldn't affect him in the least. Sakura had the same mindset. Shikamaru and Choji, despite not knowing why Naruto was called a demon, were the most unwilling in the group to allow Naruto to fight the villagers. However Naruto was their friend and saved their lives on many occasions, so they reluctantly just turned their heads. Kakashi, Yamato, and Jiraiya allowed it, seeing as there was no way in hell Tsunade would let her grandson-like figure be banished again. However Kakashi was curious as to whether or not Naruto would really fight the villagers so he turned to Jiraiya.

"Jiraiya-sama would he do it?" Jiraiya frowned at the question as he looked at Naruto, who had nothing put determination in his eyes.

"Kakashi, understand that the day Naruto was banished from here was the day his personality pretty much split. On one half we have the Naruto we know, _Naruto 1_ as I like to call him. On the other half we have the Naruto that is all business, _Naruto 2_. This Naruto is the one he shows to his enemies or those he doesn't trust. This half knows in the world of shinobi, those who stand against you must be eliminated, " Jiraiya sighed, "and Naruto 2 knows that these villagers stand against him. "

"**Well** then," Naruto said after seeing his companions had made up their minds, "**you** bastards," he pointed at the villagers, "**have** made **my** life **hell** for **god** knows **how** many **years**. You **pushed** me **around** and **beat** the **hell** out **of** me **because** of **a** matter **I** had **no** say **in**. So **to** return **the** favor…" said Naruto while spinning a kunai in his fingers.

"**I'll** kill **some**, or **all**, of **you**," he smirked as he raised his chin and tilted his head to the right side to reveal his eyes, which were now flickering from blue to red and dancing with the light of the moon, "and _**you**_ don't **get** a **say** in **the** matter."

* * *

Sorry guys, no Kyuubi book thingy. He's busy talking to his sister .

R/R Please.

Sorry I haven't updated sooner, but the end of school and start of summer sorta disorientate a guy.


	4. Chapter 4: The Challenge

"Talking"

'_Thinking and Jutsus'_ _Also Used For Emphasis_

"**Demons + Summons Talking" Also Used For Emphasis **

'_**Demons + Summons Thinking**_'

'**Dark** Naruto **Thinking**'

"**Dark** Naruto **Talking**"

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

The Kyuubi sighed as he wished he had fingers with which he could rub the bridge of his nose. Talking with his sister wasn't always a taxing task, but when she was in a bad mood it was like talking to the embodiment of womanly periods on steroids…

Lots of steroids.

Once the Kyuubi managed to clear his mind he took notice of the fact that the Naruto in front of him, the one that represented his mind, seemed to be struggling with himself. Kyuubi decided to let the nin resolve it himself and decided to write.

'_**As long as he doesn't die, or get his dick removed, I'm content**_' thoughts the biju before taking out his materials.

"**Once a shinobi has assigned him/herself a goal, the next step is for them to enroll into some form of ninja academy. At these schools, one learns about all the facets of ninja life, ranging from how to arrange flowers to the best ways to exterminate enemy nin. They also teach one many things, that while are otherwise useless to a shinobi, are a necessity to know while in the Academy. Examples of such things are the teachings of who the 4th Feudal Lord of Fire Country was, as well as the best way to identify what kind of fabric was used for your hiate**"

The Kyuubi frowned as he saw Naruto stop fighting himself and start drawing out some of his chakra. He was about to question the boy on whether or not this was a wise decision, but decided against it. It wouldn't do any good for the kid to think he was getting soft.

* * *

Kakashi involuntarily shuddered as he watched Naruto spike his chakra. The Naruto before him was not the same one he remembered from 3 years ago. Hell, it wasn't even the same one he remembered from 3 _hours_ ago. Jiraiya had not been joking when he said that Naruto's personality had split. As opposed to the Naruto he knew, this one was a shinobi in every sense of the word. The Naruto he knew, while incredibly talented and powerful, was not anything like what a village imagined a shinobi would be like. He was brash, loud, trusting, and let his emotions get the better of him countless times. This Naruto was cold, ruthless, and showed only one emotion, hatred for the ones that stood in his way.

This was going to get messy.

Naruto gave a rather evil version of his foxy grin as he saw the villagers back away from him.

"**What's** wrong? **You** looked **so** sure **you** could **push** me **around** just **a** minute **ago**…" started Naruto while releasing a small amount of killing intent, "but **seeing** as you **don't** seem **so** confident **now**, I'm **guessing** the **fox** got **your** tongue?" The killing intent Naruto released started to take effect as some of the weaker minded villagers fell to their knees, gasping for breath. Seeing the leader sweating bullets, Naruto decided to show some mercy and put him out of his misery. He stopped spinning the kunai in his hand and took a firm grasp of it. Then, faster than any of the villagers could see, he threw the kunai at the forehead of the leader. The ninjas, save for Shikamaru, Choji, and the sleeping Ino, watched as death rapidly approached the man.

However, an inch or two away from ending the human's life, three senbon hit the projectile and caused it to land on the ground. Naruto frowned as he looked atop the village gate with his now dark blue eyes, where the objects had originated from. The others followed the blonde's lead and their eyes fell upon the figure of one Mitarashi Anko, along with four ANBU. The purple haired Jounin sat cross-legged with her hands at her sides, lightly clutching the edge of the giant door.

"Come now Naru-kun, it wouldn't be good for you to just go about killing random villagers now would it?" asked Anko as she put on a disappointed frown and wagged her right index finger side to side in a disapproving manner. Naruto seemed rather peeved before putting on a foxy grin. However unlike his usual ones, this seemed more like a fox on a hunt as opposed to a carefree one.

"**Then** maybe **I** should **kill** the **ninjas** that **try** to **stop** me **from** killing **those** villagers, **ne**, Anko-chan?" Naruto then increased the amount of killing intent he was giving off, causing all of the remaining villagers to fall to their knees, while causing the ANBU to unknowingly move their hands toward their weapons holster. Anko gave an angry pout before crossing her arms under her breasts.

"That wouldn't be very nice, Naru-kun," stated the Jounin. She then went on about how she would hate to die before Naruto sighed and looked away. Suddenly a jolt of pain shot through Naruto's body, but he didn't show it.

'_**Shit**, that **bastards** starting **to** come _**back**,' Naruto 2 realized, '_don't **have** much **time** then.' _With that thought Naruto raised his palm and blew the villagers into the walls of the gate after activating his _Fuuton: Kaze_ before the ANBU could react. He smirked before he turned around and put his right hand up in a waving fashion. Then in an icy tone he spoke.

"**Take** those **bastards** back **to** their **houses** or **boxes **or **whatever** the **hell** they **live** in. **But** if **I** turn **around** after **I** reach** Ino-chan** and **my** clone **over** there," he pointed toward the two, "**and** they're **still** there, **they** won't **see** tomorrow." Anko frowned before ordering her ANBU to retrieve the villagers and bring them back home. However the one with the turtle mask stayed. Anko realized this to be Naruto's teammate for a time, Sai, and allowed for him to stay and motioned with her hand to follow. The two then used the _Shushin no Jutsu_ to meet with the group of shinobi below. Anko poofed next to Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Yamato, while Sai poofed next to Sakura and Sasuke.

"So Anko-san, what brings you here at this time of night?" asked Yamato.

"Tsunade-sama ordered me and my squad to stay here and wait for you guys to tell you not to brief her on the mission until tomorrow. Something about her wanting to sleep or something," was the answer he received.

"If that's so, why didn't you stop all those villagers from gathering here?" asked Kakashi. Anko shrugged and pulled out some dango from somewhere and started eating it.

"I wanted to see what the kid would do," said Anko before shrugging, "never would've guessed he would have actually killed them."

* * *

Naruto 2 cursed as he felt himself being pushed back into Naruto's mind. Once he fully lost control he let out a snort as he lay down in the water in front of the Kyuubi's cage. As long as his gentle side didn't get in the way of his goal, he didn't mind being the less dominant personality.

'_**I** will **never** understand **what** that **idiot** sees **in** this **place**.'_

* * *

Naruto mentally sighed as he made it over to his clone. It was always tiring to fight himself. Add this fact with his increasing weariness and Naruto felt like his mind was having a hangover. Just as Naruto was about to take Ino from his clone he sneezed, causing Ino to fall to the ground and her mid-inner thighs to hit a jagged rock the size of a baseball.

'_Damn, that's going to hurt later,' _thought Naruto before picking up Ino from the ground,_ 'I wonder who's talking about me?'_

Once he picked up the blonde, he looked over to see Sasuke, Sakura, Sai, Shikamaru, and Choji talking and started his way over to them. Once there he put on an apologetic smile that caused all of them to look at him questioningly. To go from wanting to slaughter one group of people to smiling at another group was more than likely not good for ones mental stability.

"Sorry about that little show guys," he said meekly. There was an awkward silence before Choji decided to lighten the mood and spoke up.

"So are you guys up to going on some _researching_?" asked the Akimichi. This caused the males to let out perverted giggles as they talked about where and when they would meet up, causing Sakura to become annoyed and Sai to become confused. Even the ever stoic Sasuke seemed to be somewhat more lively as he spoke with his fellow males.

'_Judging by the small amount of blood coming from their noses, they must be talking about penises…'_ deduced the artist. Sakura on the other hand was not so naïve (or gay) and knew better. She was also getting pissed that the males were talking so openly about being perverts when she, a female, was in such close proximity.

"Would you stop talking about breasts damn it!" yelled the Haruno after a particular comment from Sasuke (gasp) as she hit all the males, save Sai, on the head. She then pointed at Shikamaru with a face that would make Yamato proud.

"Wait until Temari hears about this…" said Sakura in an ominous voice. The males watched as Shikamaru's eyes widened before he schooled his face back into his regular expression.

"Troublesome women…" muttered the lazy nin. Unbeknownst to everyone in the area though, Shikamaru was secretly thinking of ways he could bribe one Haruno Sakura. He also cursed the fact that Temari and her brothers were arriving the next day for a meeting with the council. Sakura sighed and shook her head before telling the others they should get going. The others agreed, waved goodbye to the older nin, and made their way into Konoha. The group bid farewell to one another as they soon separated to get to their respective houses.

* * *

The weary Naruto yawned as he got closer to Ino's house. He had long since decided not to enter the house via waking up Ino's parents; it was too late for that. So instead he decided that he would just enter her room and drop her off in her bed, then make for home. Once he reached the window to Ino's room, he carefully adjusted Ino's body so he could hold her up with her left arm while opening the window with the right. Once inside, his nose was assaulted by a large array of flowery scents, further increasing his desire to sleep. He slowly made his way to his fellow blonde's bed, which was in the far corner of the room, but as he was making his way he found his sense of smell becoming more and more sharp. His eyes narrowed as much as they could in his state of drowsiness as he thought of what could cause such a phenomenon.

'_What the,'_ Naruto yawned, '_fuck fox?'_

The Kyuubi didn't answer, and instead looked to see his sister channeling chakra.

"**Why the sudden interest?**" questioned the biju.

Naruto cursed the fox for not answering as he finally made it to the bed. He then laid Ino down and put a blanket over her. However by this time Naruto was all but sleepwalking and he could barely keep his eyes open.

'_I can do this,'_ the nin encouraged himself as he willed his legs to make for the window. However his legs seemed to already be asleep and didn't budge.

'_Ok then, maybe I'll just lie down for a minute or two and then I'll go to my apartment,_' reasoned the blonde as he took off his shoes, nodachi, hiate, and after seeing how dirty it was, his shirt as he occupied the space next to the sleeping kunoichi, '_just a few,' _the nin yawned, _'minutes.'_

_8 Hours Later…_

Naruto let out a sigh of content as he opened his eyes and attempted to escape his slumber. Once he managed to stay conscious long enough, the blonde took in his surroundings and was, to say the least, quite surprised that he had no idea where he was. Taking a closer look, the memories of the previous day assaulted his mind as his eyes widened.

'_Oh fuck…' _was his one thought as he noticed a weight on his chest. He looked to see the Ino's head was currently residing there, and had her arms wrapped around him as though he were a pillow.

'_DAMN I'M GOING TO DIE IF SHE WAKES UP,'_ the nin mentally screamed trying to conjure up a way to escape Ino's grasp without waking her. However whatever spirit was in charge of watching Naruto must have taken a break, as Naruto could hear Ino let out a small yawn before slowly opening her eyes. Naruto's mind all but exploded as it didn't take Ino long to realize something was amiss as she looked up at Naruto with groggily eyes.

"Naruto?" questioned the Yamanka tiredly. Thinking fast Naruto came up with a response.

"This is a dream Ino-chan, you are merely dreaming that I, Naruto-sama, am here," Naruto said this in a weird voice, much like one would see in a cartoon when someone is pretending to be a ghost. Ino, in her haze like state of mind, simply nodded before going back to sleep. Naruto let out a sigh before wiping the sweat off his brow.

Bad move.

Sighing and shifting his arm did enough to once again awaken Ino, who this time was more aware of her environment.

"Wait… w-what the…" Ino started before looking at Naruto with wide eyes.

"FUCK, NARUTO-SAMA!" Ino yelled so loudly everyone in Konoha heard it. However, much to what would soon become the dismay, as well as luck, of the two blondes, Ino's just recently awakened state of being as well as her surprise did not allow her voice to channel any anger into her statement. She also did not even have the ability to give her yell a questioning tone. Instead, her scream merely sounded much like one would imagine a female character in Jiraiya's book would give off… except much louder. Loud enough that, as stated before, **everyone** in Konoha heard it.

--

_Team 8_

"FUCK, NARUTO-SAMA!"

Hinata's eyes went wide and her face flushed to an incredibly red hue as both she and Kiba stopped their spar. She looked to see that Kurenai and Shino had also stopped training and that her sensei had the same expression that she had. Even the Aburame seemed to be somewhat shell-shocked (well, as shocked at Shino could be anyway) by what he had just heard if his slightly raised eye brows were an indication. She then looked to the Inuzuka in front of her, who had his mouth wide open.

"K-Kiba-kun was that…?" asked the Hyuuga, who was wearing the robes that her father and cousin wore, except were tighter to show the fact that she was female. She, like Sakura and Ino, had also matured into a stunning beauty.

"Yes…" was the only answer Kiba, who had gotten a few inches taller and put on some more muscles yet still wore the same clothes, could give.

--

_Gaara, Shikamaru, Choji, Kankuro, and Temari_

The group of three Suna shinobi and two Konoha ones were left much like the previous group as they stopped their progress toward Konoha.

"And did she just scream…?" started Temari. Temari had also fully blossomed into an attractive female, who still wore the same outfit.

"Yes…" answered the only Nara present. Shikamaru was starting to look more like his father, but refused to change his outfit, telling his dad that it was to troublesome.

--

_Team Gai_

TenTen's kunai missed its target horribly as her face blazed with color

"Do you think their having…?" asked TenTen, who now wore a white kimono top, which started off tight around the body but got looser as it got to the end of the sleeves which were half a foot longer than her arms, and white cargo pants made out of cloth. Both pieces of clothing had designs of black kunai outlined in dark red. She like the rest of the girls had developed very nicely.

"Yes and I do not feel comfortable talking about this any longer…" was Neji's answer. Neji looked almost exactly as his father except younger and still wore Hyuuga robes.

--

_Team 7_

"Ahhh you're boring Sasuke-kun," whined Sakura and she gave the Uchiha a pout and crossed her arms under her breast, enhancing the already large spheres. Her eyes then lit up as she _Shushined _over to both Kakashi and Sasuke, who were currently nursing bruises they each sported on their face. The sudden proclamation, or more specifically the content that was proclaimed, was enough to distract the two of them as they both connected sloppy punches on one another. Sakura grabbed both of their arms as she started dragging them like dolls. She then looked at Yamato, who had decided to drop by and greet them, and with a motion of her head told him to follow.

"Come Yamato-sensei, we're going to Ichiraku's!"

--

_Naruto and Ino_

Naruto widened his eyes as he covered Ino's mouth in an attempt to silence her. He didn't need the whole village to hear them. However Ino, being the loudest and most stubborn kunoichi in the Rookie 9, soon got angry and started kicking her legs wildly, and one particular kick connected with the hem of Naruto's sweat pants, dragging it down slightly, revealing his morning hard-on, which wasn't going down anytime soon, with Naruto being in such close proximity with a female whose body simply exuded sensuality. The two continued to struggle for a while until somehow Naruto and Ino were standing on the bed, the male blonde having the female one backed into the corner of the room. Their struggle, albeit short, was intense and both were sweating.

During the course of the quarrel, the wind chakra in Ino's shirt actually caused the entire right side of it to somehow end up on the nook of Ino's neck, while the left side drooped down to her knees and exposed the porcelain skin of her left shoulder. This left Ino's right side bare except for her undergarments, though even these seemed to be failing her as her bra was somehow unhooked. However the piece of clothing only slid down Ino's right arm enough so that while the right cup left much of Ino's large orb revealed, it was still somewhat covered. This state of dress left Ino with an incredibly flushed face, somewhat caused by embarrassment but mostly caused by anger.

Naruto panted as his sweat dripped down his face and chin and landed on Ino's partially exposed right breast, causing her to have to stifle a moan at the pleasure the feeling brought. He was currently holding Ino's left thigh in his hand, which for some reason caused Ino a small amount of pain, so as to stop her from kicking. However due to his and Ino's height this also raised Ino to the point where she was standing on her toes and off balance, causing her to have to wrap her hands around his neck to keep from falling. The sudden addition of weight then made Naruto have to put his left hand on the wall for balance. After a few deep breathes from both parties, Naruto finally decided to speak up.

"Ino-chan it's like this…" However before he had to chance to say more, the door to Ino's room burst open behind him, and in came Ino's parents.

"Ino-chan we heard you screaming…" started Inoichi, before his eyes settled on the face and back of Naruto as well as the front and face of his daughter, which he could see beyond Naruto's shoulders and body. The male's eyes widened to the point where they could have possibly popped out of his eye sockets just before he fainted. Ino's mom looked to be equally surprised, however instead of fainting she put on a large smile.

"It's great to see you have finally become a woman, Ino-chan," the older lady then picked up her husband before winking at Naruto, "don't be too rough on my daughter, Naruto-kun, it is her first."

Once she left and closed the door, Naruto and Ino felt their faces light on fire. However it seemed that whatever evil (or perverted) force that was toying with them was far from done as the window to Ino's room suddenly opened, and in stepped the form of Anko.

"Ino, I was doing patrol when…" The Snake Sannin's pupil started, but soon widened her eyes much like many residents in Konoha had done that morning. Due to the fact that she, much like Ino's parents, had not been there to witness the struggle that landed them in this position, her mind could only come up with one possible reason why the two people in front of her were the way they were; Uzumaki Naruto and Yamanka Ino were having sex.

This conclusion was perfectly sound, due to the fact that the shadow that Anko herself casted resulted in an inability to distinguish whether or not Naruto had any boxers on, leaving her with only a silhouette of Naruto's Kyuubi-enhanced penis. The shadows, as well as Ino's shirt, also didn't give her the opportunity to tell whether or not Ino had any panties on. The shadows however seemed to only make it to their hips, allowing Anko to see the fact that they were both sweating and blushing, along with Ino's state of dress.

Then there was Naruto, who only wore a black formfitting tang top along with his sweatpants. What also got Anko was the fact that the area of Ino's exposed right breast seemed to have an extra coat of liquid the rest of her body did not, giving off the impression that Naruto had simply been impatient and decided to attack the flesh as soon as there was enough for him to get his mouth on.

However despite Anko's shock, she was still a woman, and one of a females top priorities was to gossip. With this in mind she connected her left thumb with her right index finger and her right thumb with her left index finger, forming a box. She then positioned the box in a way that both the forms of Naruto and Ino both fit. Gathering chakra, the image in between her fingers glowed blue before Anko separated them. The sheet of chakra then started to expand until it stopped glowing and in its place floated a picture of both Naruto and Ino. Anko grabbed the picture and gave a cheeky smile before waving.

"Have fun, and congrats on becoming adults," congratulated the kunoichi before disappearing in puff of smoke. Once she left, Naruto and Ino's mind started to slowly start working as their eyes widened. Ino's parents, as well as Anko, thought that they were having sex! The shock of the revelation calmed the two blondes as neither so much as moved for a good few minutes. This lasted up until Ino's rage manifested itself again, resulting in her gathering as much strength as she could to knock both herself and Naruto off the bed.

"What the hell are you doing!" hollered the Yamanka as she raised her right fist before sending it straight toward the blonde. Before the strike could land however Naruto s_hushined _away toward the bed, where he raised his hands in a defensive manner.

"Relax Ino-chan, it's a funny story really..." The female blonde would have none of it as she chased Naruto all around the room, with the male trying all the while to explain to her the events that led to her waking to find him in her bed.

**--**

**With Ino's Mom**

Mrs. Yamanka, who had just finished dragging her husband to the kitchen, smiled girlishly as she heard the ruckus coming from her daugther's room, despite the fact that she had told Naruto to take it easy on Ino.

'_I wonder what my grandchildren will be like!'_

**--**

**With Naruto and Ino**

Ino panted as she finally relented in her pursuit of one Uzumaki Naruto and simply laid down in bed, placing her back towards the male blonde. Naruto for his part thanked the gods as he finally finished telling his story. Ino, despite her current animosity, had to admit that the tale had all the characteristics of something Naruto would do.

"Naruto, despite that I'm still probably going to have to kill you," stated the blonde kunoichi, calmly as if she were telling him a simple fact like 'the sun is hot', due to being too tired to be overly angry. Naruto, who was rather fond of living, put on a thinking face as he walked toward the bed and sat up on it, so his body was parallel to Ino's.

"Hey, what if we just told your parents that we didn't have sex!" Ino cringed as she heard this painfully simple plan.

'_Did Naruto get stupider over his traing?,' _thought the Yamanka. However as time passed by the female realized that explaining was probably the only option that the two had. _'Well, my parents are sensible people, after some explaining they might understand... Then all we need to do is explain to Anko why we were like that and the problem should be solved._' Ino worked out the plan in her mind before deciding that it was a decent plan, albeit rather plain.

"Sure, I guess that might work," replied Ino who was know more calm, before turning to face Naruto with an angry pout, "but don't think I'm not still pissed at you, and you definitely owe me now; you did sleep in my bed." Naruto turned to face her with a foxy grin.

"I'll treat you to breakfast, Ino-chan!" stated the blonde as his eyes sparkled with mischief, "Ero-Sennin told me I should do that sort of thing after I slept with a girl, especially a pretty one." Ino felt blood once again rushing to her cheeks as she playfully smacked Naruto's arm (A/N what girls don't understand is that 'playfully' doesn't translate into 'as hard as possible').

"Pervert! Anyway, let me take a shower before we tell my parents and leave." Much to her dismay, once she stood up and started making her way to the bathroom Ino found herself limping while her thighs sent jolts of pain to her brain. Ino then looked toward Naruto with a questioning and irritated face.

"Did you do anything with my body you hentai!?" Naruto then started flailing his arms about in a defensive gesture as he assured Ino he did nothing what-so-ever. Meanwhile, during his pitiful attempt to save his life, memories of when he had dropped Ino flooded his mind. His eyes shone with realization as he then relayed this information to Ino, who once again hit him for not only dropping her, but for putting her in this situation.

"Can't you just heal yourself?" Naruto asked as he nursed a lump on his head. Ino shook her head in frustration before answering.

"It's not like I have any experience healing that area, Naruto," Ino said before releasing a forlorn sigh, "you'll just have to carry me around Konoha and take me to Tsunade-sama later." Naruto merely nodded, figuring he had gotten off easy. Ino limped her way to the shower and took off her clothing as water soon cascaded down her form.

Around 10 minutes later Ino exited the shower and dried off, only to find that she didn't bring any clothes in the bathroom with her. Cursing herself for her lack of planning, she put on the extra pair of panties as well as the spare bra she always kept in the bathroom, and then once again put on Naruto's shirt after deciding that it still smelt good enough and looked clean enough for her to wear. She quickly tied her hair into a pony tail as she left the bathroom and found Naruto changing into a new shirt. Ino couldn't suppress a blush as she could now see Naruto in only a formfitting black tang top without her anger clouding her thoughts.

During Naruto's three year banishment, the Kyuubi realized that he had very little chance of escaping his human prison. With this in mind, the biju, being the pervert that he was, realized he could also not have sex. So to fix this problem he established a connection with Naruto so that any sexual gratification he received, he would in turn feel it also. But by doing this another problem was born; if Naruto didn't get laid, he wouldn't feel anything. While the demon knew the boy naturally had the body and personality needed to attract many women, the Kyuubi was a certified SSS-Class Ultra Stage 7 Omega Alpha Red Beta 9 Supreme Blackhawk Mega Pervert Model 0, and thusly wanted _all _the hot women the world had to offer. And in order for his container to get laid as many times as possible, the Kyuubi made modifications to Naruto's body and endowment, transforming him from a heartbreaker and into what could only be described as a sex god.

'_Damn, sleeping with him would've have been nice…_,' Ino could feel her inner self say, magnifying her blush. In order to keep herself from looking at the perfect example of masculinity that was in front of her, Ino busied herself with trying to find an outfit that she could wear. The Yamanka went into her closet and settled on a pair of semi-tight, white sweat pants that reached a few inches past her knees as well as orange versions of the typical ninja sandals. She then tied her, or rather Naruto's, orange shirt into a knot on the right side of her waist, pulling the shirt closer to her form and revealing a small amount of midriff, which she then tied her hiate around. Once done she once again spoke up.

"Naruto, let's go downstairs and lower my dad's blood pressure." Naruto nodded as he walked next to Ino and picked her up bridal style and made his way out the room. After making his way to the kitchen, Naruto and Ino found Ino's mom cooking and Ino's dad still unconscious in a chair.

"Umm, mom?" Ino's mom then turned and put on bright smile as she let out a small squeal.

"Ahhh, you already have him carrying you around Ino-chan? It took me a year and three times in bed before your father would do that to me!" Both Naruto and Ino looked at the female with wide eyes before Ino's mom broke the silence. "So you wanted something Ino-chan?" Ino managed to push aside the mental images of her mom and dad having… well you know, long enough to regain her bearings.

"Oh yeah, you see about me and Naruto-" started the kunoichi before she was interrupted by her mom

"Oh, you wanted to tell me about it? That's great honey! And did you know this kind purple haired lady was kind enough to give me this cute little picture of you and Naruto-kun." Ino felt all hope to convince her mom that she and Naruto had not slept together die as she saw her take out the very same picture that Anko had taken. Why is this you ask? Well you see Ino knew her mom all to well, and as long as she had even the smallest bit of evidence, she would believe in what she wanted to until she just didn't feel like it anymore. She was, after all, the person Ino got her own stubbornness from. With this in mind Ino held her head down in defeat as she spoke up.

"Actually mom I'll just tell you about it later, Naruto and I are going to eat." Ino's mom nodded as Naruto made for the door. However before the two exited the house, they heard the groans of Ino's dad as he awoke. He looked to see his daughter as well as the man he believed to be her lover, and just before he fainted once more he managed to gather enough energy to speak.

"Ino-chan, you performed the _Pill no Jutsu_ right?" Ino's father asked. Ino sighed before she nodded for her father's sake.

"Are you sure you did it right? It was your first time using it!"

"Don't worry dad, that jutsu is so easy I could do it sleeping." Inoichi fought the urge to tell her that had the jutsu been so easy she wouldn't have been alive before fainting. Naruto sighed and went out of the house and headed toward Ichiraku without saying anything. He, as well as Ino, knew perfectly well that no matter what they said, as long as that picture existed telling Ino's parents they had not slept together would be the same as saying Orochimaru was interested in the female sex…

* * *

Orochimaru sneezed as he and Kabuto walked toward the Raikage's Tower. It had been three years since the snake Sannin had transferred bodies. Three years since the Sharingan was taken from his grasp. But to Orochimaru the wait was worth it. In only a matter of months, he would crush Konoha, and obtain the prized Uchiha bloodline. All he needed were a few alliances…

* * *

Jiraiya and Tsunade, two of the most feared shinobi in the ninja world, were currently laughing up a storm in the Hokage's office. They, as the rest of Konoha, had heard the scream of one Yamanka Ino directed and the two's favorite male blonde.

"C-can you imagine what kind of shit they'll be in," Jiraiya said, while barely containing his laughter. This only made the busty Hokage laugh harder as she clutched her sides. Both of the two people present knew that Naruto and Ino had not had sex. How you may ask? Well simply it is because they knew that Naruto was a master of _that style_. And had Naruto really used _that style_ then him and his at the moment faux lover would still be in the process of doing the dirty, and would have kept on doing it for the better part of 12-14 hours. However due to many people in the village not having this knowledge, they knew the two would be forced into many awkward situations, many of which they hoped to see.

"Oh, and look at this!" Tsunade then took out the picture of Naruto and Ino Anko was handing out. Once Jiraiya had a nosebleed, the two started laughing once more. After another 15 or so minutes of hysterics the two finally settled down enough so that they could have a civil conversation. The Toad Sannin then told his teammate about the mission, and more importantly the happenings after said mission. Tsunade rubbed her temples as she realized that the villagers just wouldn't let their hate of Naruto go. Then there was the fact that she had to deal with two Naruto personalities.

'_One was enough damn it_.'

"How are you sure that he really has two personas, Jiraiya?" The pervert looked to be deep in thought, trying to recollect how he had come to the conclusion that the blonde jinchuuriki had developed another half.

"Well my suspicions first arose once I came back and took him for his three year banishment. The way he walked the streets when none of his friends were around was different than what I had remembered. Instead of walking at normal pace and trying to ignore the villagers' looks, he walked slowly and returned all of the glares he received. Eventually a villager actually tried to attack him for looking so confident in an alley, and he ended up with his left arm and leg being sliced off and burned." Tsunade winced at this; she had remembered seeing this villager at the hospital. As they spoke he was still in a physically induced coma.

"However when I jumped down he switched from having an 'I am the world' look on his face to the 'what the fuck is happening here' innocent look on his face that he usually has. And later, the way he was so calm and casual when carrying the villager to the hospital just wasn't Narutoish."

"Did you just say Narutoish?" Tsunade asked while trying to hold back laughter.

"Shut up…" This earned the book author a punch that sent him flying across Konoha. Once he arrived back at the tower he continued his story.

"Anyway, my theory was confirmed in Iwagakure. While we were there I could actually see how Naruto's eyes changed from cerulean to dark blue once the other personality takes over." Tsunade sighed; it looked like her favorite Konoha shinobi really did have a split personality.

"So, is there anything we should do about it?"

"Well if Naruto was a regular ninja, then no since having a split personality can sometimes help, take your student for example," Tsunade nodded, "but as we both know Naruto isn't a normal shinobi. The villagers and even some ninja from his own village despise him. So with the addition of a new personality, the village, and maybe even Kyuubi-dono Naruto's brain could all but shatter at any given moment."

"So what do you suggest?" asked the Hokage.

"Well if I were you I would assign a Yamanka to him, so if he does lose himself they can enter his mind and help him out," replied the Hokage's teammate. The leader of Konoha nodded as she called in Sai.

"Get me Naruto and Ino." The artist nodded as he disappeared in a swirl of leaves to search for the two blondes. Once he left something in Tsunade's mind seemed to click as she looked at Jiraiya.

"Wait, how come you went to Iwa? And why didn't Oohi Koishi bitch execute you?" Jiraiya smirked at the calling of the Tsuchikage a bitch. During the Third Great Shinobi War, Tsunade and Koishi had developed a rivalry that rivaled that of Sakura and Ino's. Every battle that they were involved in would usually be one of much destruction.

"Why we were in Iwa, ask Naruto, and as to why she didn't execute us, let's just say that you and Koishi are still almost exactly the same." Tsunade attempted to hit Jiraiya at this insinuation, "When you first met Naruto you thought he was just some punk shinobi who dreamt of being Hokage, much like she did," the Toad Sannin paused as he put on a smile, "and just like you, she was proved wrong and grew fond of the brat." Jiraiya then disappeared, leaving Tsunade all the more curious.

* * *

Once Naruto made it to Ichiraku's he was surprised to see the place was much larger than he remembered. It still looked to have the same entrance, but he could see that beyond that there were many tables and that the main counter was pushed much farther back and shaped like half a horizontal rectangle connected to the wall. The counter had many seats lining it and the kitchen was located behind that. After he made his and Ino's way into the restaurant, the two could almost feel all of existence come to a halt. Right in front of the two shinobi were all the other members of the Rookie Nine and Gai's Team. The females, Ayame included, blushed heatedly as Naruto slowly approached the counter. Naruto could see the males all staring at their ramen, even the likes of Shino and Sasuke, as they were to unsure of their ability to keep their curiosity under check. Even the two beast of Konoha were silent. Naruto knew that for some reason, just by entering the building, both he and Ino created an atmosphere of awkwardness. Naruto, being who he was, put on a nervous smile before speaking.

"Hi guys…" This greeting was responded to with grunts of acknowledgment by most of the males and some soft spoken salutations from the females. Uncomfortable silence followed before Naruto spoke up again.

"Why are of you all acting so weird?" questioned the blonde.

"Maybe you should tell us, Naruto_**-sama**_," stated Temari in a small, yet hearable voice with a face that left many to wonder if she had enough blood in the rest of her body to survive. Naruto and Ino's eyes widened as they realized what she meant.

'_Shit! They heard that,_' the two blondes thought at the same time, finally realizing just how loud Ino had screamed. Naruto was quick to respond as Ino tried to make her face disappear into Naruto's chest.

"Look you guys me and Ino-chan didn't really…" he started, but was interrupted by the sound of movement his audience made. Naruto and Ino then saw everyone present take out the very same picture that Ino's mom had, much to their shock.

"What the hell? I thought only my mom had that picture!?" Kakashi shook his head as his eye smiled at the pair.

"Anko was kind enough to hand copies of this picture to everyone in Konoha. She even offered poster sized ones for people who wanted it." At this every male present started to look around the restaurant, suddenly finding it to be very interesting. Meanwhile the females tried desperately to somehow hide their faces (with Gaara being kind enough to put sand with two eye holes in front of his sister's face). Naruto mumbled a curse while Ino all but mentally cried, trying to find a way out of this. She could attempt to explain the situation to her fellow ninja, but she knew that it would do no good. It was simply in people's nature to want to believe the juicier (usually sex related) story, rather than the truth. (A/N-True shit right there) After Naruto let out a psychological tirade of curses, he sat Ino down on a stool before sitting on one right next to her.

Kakashi meanwhile was having doubts as to whether Naruto and Ino really did the naughty. The silver haired nin knew that Naruto learned _that_ _style_ from Jiraiya but didn't know how powerful it was, due to the fact he had been out of fire country when is sensei had first used it on his soon to be wife. However from the stories he heard from the inhabitants of Konoha once his sensei and his wife started their fun, the rest of the village got no sleep for the better part of 12-14 hours.

"Umm, I'll start with five bowls of miso ramen I guess, oji-san." Came the rather subdued voice of Naruto, breaking the Sharingan user from his thoughts.

"One bowl of miso for me, please." Came the even weaker voice of Ino. The man merely nodded before disappearing into the back of the restaurant.

"So, how did it feel, Ino?" asked Sakura in a weak voice. The blonde answered with a blush and just looked down at the counter. She didn't really have an answer after all.

Once the ramen chef came out with the two orders everyone, Naruto included, ate in silence before Kurenai's three year old daughter, Yuhie Gen, looked up from her bowl of ramen and at Naruto and Ino. She had her mother's eyes and almost everyone knew she would look like her mom. At the same time people could also already tell that her personality would come from Asuma. Gen then looked at the picture her mother placed on the counter before clapping.

"Mommy is thad the lady thad maded thad scream?" questioned the toddler. Kurenai could only nod her head as she looked toward Ino, who was currently trying to hide behind her hands.

"Whyt she scream?" Kurenai tried to find the best possible explanation she could give before speaking.

"Well, she and that man next to her were playing a game and she was having fun." The Genjutsu specialist answered with a small, forced smile.

"Wow! Thad game musd be fun! Thad lady screamed reallyt loutely!" At this the males could barely keep down the food that they were attempting to eat, with some of them choking and hitting their chest with their fist. The little girl then turned to look at the pair of blondes with a large smile adorning her face while pointing at Naruto.

"Could youd playt thad game wid me? You musd be reallyt good at it!" This was the last straw, as the males all spit out the ramen from their mouths, with Gaara catching his food with sand before it hit the counter. The females all pinched their noses so as to stem the flow of blood they felt coming. The mother of the child did hand seals at an almost inhuman pace as she put her daughter to sleep with a genjutsu, all the while having a blush on her face the same color as her eyes. Once everyone could see that the child was fast asleep, time seemed to once again continue it's never ending countdown. The first ones to speak up were Konoha's two top Taijutsu specialists.

"NARUTO-KUN! INO-CHAN! I, MAITO GAI, WOULD LIKE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON COMBINING YOUR YOUTH!! IN DOING SO, YOU HAVE ALLOWED YOURSELF TO EXPERIENCE THE PINNACLE OF YOUTHFULNESS!!"

"YOSH!! I, ROCK LEE, ALSO WISH TO SHARE IN THE CELEBRATION OF YOUR YOUTHFULNESS!! IN THE COMBINING OF NARUTO-KUN'S TORCH OF FIERY YOUTH AND INO-CHAN'S YOUTHFUL CAVE OF YOUTH, YOU HAVE REMOVED YOUR BARRIERS AND HAVE ACHIEVED YOUR FULL FORMS OF YOUTH!!" (A/N Damn mad youth)

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"the two beast of the leaf then went into a hugging frenzy before Gai pointed at Kakashi with fierce determination in his eyes.

"MY HIP RIVAL, KAKASHI, WHILE ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS MAY HAVE ALREADY ARRIVED AT THE SUMMIT OF THEIR YOUTH, I ASSURE YOU **ALL THREE**"Gai said the last two words with extra enthusiasm, while pointing at his team, his other hand holding up three fingers, "WILL ATTAIN THEIR PEAK FORMS OF YOUTFULNESS BEFORE YOUR OTHER TWO STUDENTS DO!!" Much to everyone's surprise, Kakashi actually looked up from his bowl of ramen and at Gai, his one visible eye having as much determination as his green spandex wearing rival.

"While I'm usually not one to want to participate in your little challenges, Gai…" started Kakashi before a serene white flame seemed to come to life in front of silver haired nin, "I, Hatake Kakashi, son of Konoha's White Fang Hatake Sakumo, wielder of the Sharingan, knower of more than 1,000 jutsu, student to the Yondaime Hokage, the most mysterious mask wearing shinobi to ever exist, the…" the leader of Team 7 continued to publicly announce his nicknames and titles for at least another five minutes, "and finally the number one fan of the _Icha Icha _series…" the white flame that was in front of the shinobi then turned into a raging white inferno as it engulfed everything around it while Kakashi went into the Super Saiyan pose (Disclaimer: don't own Dragonball series), "WILL NEVER ALLOW MYSELF TO BE DEFEATED IN A SEX RELATED CHALLENGE! MY STUDENTS WILL HAVE SEX 5 TIMES BEFORE YOUR STUDENTS EVEN GET TO FIRST BASE!!"

The sudden eruption of enthusiasm, or as Gai put it, youth, seemed to overwhelm everyone in the vicinity as nearby villagers passed out while the ninjas outside the restaurant tried their best to breathe the air that had suddenly turned incredibly hot.

"Since Kakashi-senpai seems so into this, I guess I will enter the challenge to," started Yamato before pointing to Choji and Shikamaru, "I bet I can get those two guys to have sex before you two get your students to." Kurenai sighed as she heard this. While some men might have more knowledge of the carnal pleasures than females, females surpassed the males in almost every category of romance, which was needed for two people to actually get into bed. (unless it's a hooker or one night stand sorta thing)

"Pshh, what do you guys know of matchmaking?" spoke the red eyed female, "I bet I can get my team to bed someone before you can get yours to even consider it." Gaara, who was quietly taking in the conversation, then stood up.

"I too would like to join the challenge," stated the Kazekage much to everyones surprise, before pointing at his siblings, "they will be the two I am in charge of."

The four Jounins and one Kage all stared at each other with fierce resolve in their eyes, as they somehow mentally communicated with each other. After a while the mental communications seemed to shut down before the five challengers spoke up.

"Rule 0: Whoever wins this challenge is to be known far and wide as _**the**_ greatest matchmaker in the history of _**forever**_," stated all the participants of the challenge in unison.

"Rule 1: They can't sleep with hookers or anything," stated Kurenai as Kakashi cursed.

"Rule 2: They can't sleep with someone that's related to them," declared Yamato while looking at Gaara. The Kazekage swore under his breath, it looked as though he would need to find another way for Temari and Kankuro to get laid.

"RULE 3: THEY CAN NOT TAKE SOMEONE AGAINST THAT PERSONS WILL, FOR THAT WOULD BE UNYOUTHFUL!" shouted Gai.

"Rule 4: You cannot force them to sleep with anybody," said the sand user coolly

'_Damn I only get one rule, so I have to make it hard.'_ Looking at his blonde student and his mate, Kakashi put on a large grin as a white light seemed to illuminate his face before speaking. (Much like Kira from DeathNote does when he does something really smart except he has a red light Disclaimer: Don't own DeathNote)

"Rule 5: They have to sleep with someone most of us know" proclaimed the Copy Nin. At this the younger nin, who had been so shocked with the informality of the five that they were forced into quietly listening to their discussion, all exploded with protest.

"What the hell Kakashi-sensei? Not only do you want to make us have sex, but you pretty much want us to sleep with someone here?!" yelled Sakura with anger and embarrassment clear on her face. The other shinobi (aside from the quite ones like Sasuke and Shikamaru, who were silently fuming) were quick to add their opinion on the subject as students and teachers started a verbal war, with the teachers trying to persuade them to accept the challenge and the students trying desperately to not hit them. Gaara simply wrapped himself in sand as his siblings tried to beat him to a pulp. All the while Naruto and Ino were silent as they ate their ramen and looked on with interest.

"I guess it's a good thing they think we had sex with each other Ino-chan."

"Seems like it, otherwise we would be involved in this." The two then continued to at in silence as they watched their friends before Naruto seemed to realize something. This realization seemed to be so shocking it caused the ramen from his mouth fall out.

"I-Ino-chan…"

"Hm, Naruto?" answered a curios Ino.

"If we want to keep being uninvolved with this challenge then the others can't…" Naruto let the sentence linger in the air and after a few moments Ino felt heat rising to her cheeks as she started to understand where her blonde companion was getting at.

"Know that we didn't really sleep with each other," finished the female in a small voice, partly so the others wouldn't hear but mostly from the implications such a task brought. Both nin looked away in embarrassment before Naruto spoke up.

"So, I'm up for pretending we really did have sex with each other if you are, Ino-chan," stated Naruto with a foxy grin. He thought it ill advised to let his sensei so much as watch his plants while he was away on missions. To give him control of his sex life would be like giving Orochimaru the login name and password for a gay children porno site… in other words it would be _very _bad.

"Well then, it looks like we slept together, Naruto," Ino responded with a somewhat confident smile. She also didn't exactly think it wise to have Yamato pick a mate for her. With that matter settled the two then continued eating and watching their friends argue with the five initiators of the challenge. After another 15 minutes of fighting, Kakashi had enough as he flared his chakra to get everyone's attention.

"Ok, listen up," he paused as he pointed at all those in the younger generation, save Gaara, "you will all comply with this bet or you'll be doing D-Rank missions for years to come!" threatened the perverted Jounin. The shinobi all went wide eyed at this as they reluctantly agreed to participate in the challenge. After all, there was no way in hell they were going to chase that demon of a cat again. Temari and Kankuro smirked as they realized that the threat could do them no harm. That was until Gaara told them that should they not obey him, he would have them picking up every single grain of sand back in Suna, wash them, and place them back exactly where the found them. Needless to say they ended up agreeing to their brother's demands.

"Ok, now that you have all agreed, you are to meet us at Team 7's training ground where you will sign over to us absolute dominance over your sex life," Kakashi said with an eye smile, "we will also check to make sure all the girls are still complete, so to speak, and that the guys don't have any more experience than they should," he then pointed to Naruto and Ino, "you guy's still have to come, just to make sure that you've fully completed the challenge." '_Now, depending on their answer, my theory that they didn't really have sex will be strengthened or weakened._

Naruto and Ino almost died once they heard Kakashi's words. That meant they would have to participate in the challenge after all! Their love lives would be determined by two people who for some strange reason found it incredibly important to be known as _**the**_ best matchmaker in the history of _**forever**_! However before Naruto lost all hope, his unnatural (and sometimes unhealthy) desire to never lose kicked in. He was not about to let his sensei take control of his (sex) life. He grabbed his blonde partners hand and gave it a squeeze so as the reassure her that they he would find a way out of this. After all, he was _the_ Uzumaki Naruto, the most surprising and resourceful nin to ever come out of Konohagakure no Sato. Naruto nodded as Kakashi soon returned the favor.

"Well then on that note..." started Yamato as he teleported away in a puff of smoke. The other Jounin and the lone Kage followed Yamato's example once they bid farewell to everyone, with Kurenai disappearing while holding her daughter. They had plans to make. The old ramen chef let out a series of chuckles as the others looked at him quizzically.

"Naruto, you and your friends have no idea what you just agreed to."

"What do you mean oji-san?"

"Let's just say many people have attempted to attain the title of _**the**_ best matchmaker in the history of _**forever**_, and the process is much more powerful and complicated than you might expect." On that note the ramen chef went into the kitchen to do something which isn't that important. Once the old man left, the girls, save Ino, went into full blown gossip mode as they left out loud girlish squeals.

"Ino come on tell us how was it already!" yelled Sakura with her fisted hands at her face so as to help her contain her newfound excitement. All the other temporary inhabitants of the ramen stand were listening intently for the blonde's answer, with the females ready to coax the answer out of Ino and the males simply content to simply watch how things played out. While males did like to do their fair share of gossip, most liked to gather their information saying as few words as possible.

"My scream said it all Sakura." '_I think.' _Answered Ino, the vague response being the only one she could give. However the indistinct response seemed to awaken everyone's imagination as their curiosity soon increased tenfold. TenTen was next to speak.

"How much forepl…" However before the weapons mistress could finish Sai suddenly appeared in a swirl of leaves and grabbed Naruto and motioned for Ino to follow. He then waved hello/bye to the rest of the nin before he, Naruto, and Ino left the restaurant. While leaving, Ino was forced to have to walk with her limp with no Naruto to carry her, causing the females to all blush.

'_I wonder if Naruto gives lessons_,' was the last thought that ran through the minds of the three kunoichi and one ramen chef as Ino disappeared from sight. Meanwhile Naruto was thanking the gods for his once teammate's lack of formality as they exited the building. Once out Naruto broke out of Sai's grip and picked up Ino before looking back at the ANBU.

"What do you need, Sai?"

"Hokage-sama requests you and Ino's presence at her office." Naruto nodded as he and Sai started leaping toward the tower. While doing so, Sai took out the picture of Naruto and Ino before speaking up.

"It looks like you do have a penis after all, Naruto." The artist then showed the picture to both Naruto and Ino. Naruto sweat dropped at Sai's comment while Ino felt heat rising to her cheeks for what must have been the umpteenth time that day. This was the first time Ino got to see the picture up close, making it also the first time she got to fully see the size of Naruto's pole. To say she was shocked would be an understatement.

'_People think that could fit in a virgin?! That wouldn't even fit in a prostitute…' _The male blonde carrying her and the ANBU continued running as the Hokage tower was now only a few blocks away.

* * *

The Kyuubi sighed as his sister had finally explained why she wouldn't allow herself to be pulled from the sheath. To ease his stress, the biju took out his writing materials.

"**Many of you may be wondering what the WARMABS state is. Simply put, it is the form women take when they are extremely pissed off and want nothing more than to destroy something, or in most cases someone that is male. The term WARMABS state is a name made by us guys, and stands for **_**Women Are Right Men Are Bull Shit**_** state. In this form women are granted incredible powers, such as enhanced strength and speed as well as the ability to kill with no remorse. Once women leave this state, all memories of what they did are erased."**The Kyuubi then took out the picture of Naruto and Ino and started to wonder if he could write another book about it. While trying to come up with a title for said book, the fox could not help but wonder exactly how that purple haired women managed to give him this photograph.

'_**A female's ability to gossip is powerful...**_'

* * *

Sorry for updating so late guys. I had a vacation with my cousin, then my girlfriend's family, and then I was just lazy for awhile days. Anyways I got another vacation coming up and I'm already tired as hell… Anyway thanks for reading and please review!


	5. Chapter 5: Iwagakure no Sato

"Talking"

'_Thinking and Jutsus'_ Also Used For Emphasis

"**Demons + Summons Talking" **Also Used For Emphasis

'_**Demons + Summons Thinking**_' Also Used For Emphasis

'**Dark** Naruto **Thinking**'

"**Dark** Naruto **Talking**"

'_Inner Somebody Talking__'_ Also Used For Emphasis

A/N- Sorry for the lack of updates, but I had another vacation and then school started .

Also I just noticed that you guys didn't get to see what Kyuubi said the WARMABS state stood for so I fixed that. And for anyone to lazy to go back to the last chapter it stands for _Women Are Right Men Are Bull Shit _State

This chapter is mostly a flashback, which some of you guys might think is useless, but worry not. Iwa is going to be important in this fic. Well anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter. And please R/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

"**Once a ninja graduates from an Academy, they are ready to embark on their journey to become shinobi. The graduates are separated into teams of three and are assigned one Jounin sensei. However, before they can call themselves fully fledged ninja, they must first pass a test of their instructors choosing, lest they be sent back to the academy.**"

(Officially ran out of ways to describe the Kyuubi's cage without making it boring)

* * *

Once the group of two blondes and one artist of questionable sexual orientation arrived at the Hokage Tower they were somewhat bewildered to see that the area seemed to be covered in a sheet of white. Not only that, but there were a variety of shinobi and civilians outside, looking up at the uppermost floor of the building. The three nin followed their example and were greeted by the sight of thousands upon millions of papers being thrown out a window with a passion, as well as the sound of a tirade of curses.

After a few minutes the group then scanned the crowd, and slowly advanced toward the mass of people once they spotted the familiar face of Shizune. However before they could reach their destination they were stopped by a bunch of attractive girls, more than likely kunoichi, who all squealed as they looked at them, or more specifically the blonde male.

"You're Naruto right?" asked one of them while taking out a poster sized picture of Naruto and Ino. The male nodded as the group of girls all squealed again before glomping him, completely oblivious to the fact that he was carrying someone.

"Will you go out with me Naru-kun, you're so hot!?"

"No me Naruto-kun! I'm much better than that slut!"

"Forget those two and go out with me out Naru-kun, I'm much more _talented_ than those whores!" The sudden barrage of questions/commands surprised the group as the females continued their attempts to persuade the male to date them. Soon Naruto found himself trying desperately to find a way to appease all the females (for he would in no way disappoint his fan girls in the same fashion as his rival) while Ino was silently seething.

Sure, she and Naruto weren't really together, but where did these _bitches_ get the nerve to come up to someone who was supposed to be her man and not-so-subtly ask him if he wanted them to spread their legs? And while Ino tried her best to persuade herself she was simply annoyed and not slightly jealous that Naruto was actually giving these girls the time of day, inner Ino was smarter than that, and apparently so was Naruto's second half.

--

**Naruto's Mind**

The Kyuubi looked up in fascination from the latest _Icha Icha _book just in time to see that Naruto 2 had woken up. This in itself was not an uncommon occurrence, seeing as how his host's second personality always woke up before he took over. What made this event interesting to the Kyuubi was that fact that the brat's personality did nothing but sit there with his eyes open before standing up. Never before had the brat's other side been able to keep its eyes open for more than 30 seconds without taking his host over. The fact that he now seemed to be able do so with ease slightly disturbed the Kyuubi as Naruto 2 watched his other half's conversation with the girls, as well as the reaction of the Yamanka. After awhile Naruto 2 actually looked at the Kyuubi with his version of the foxy grin before speaking.

"**You** know **Kyuubi**, that **Ino** girl **could** be **pretty** useful **in** my **plans**." The second Naruto then exited the Kyuubi's chamber as he went to go explore the rest of Naruto's mind. This caused the Kyuubi's eyes to widen a small fraction as he realized that his demonic chakra might have had more of an effect on Naruto than he though.

'_**It's not possible, even by using my chakra; he couldn't have gotten that ability…**_' The biju sighed as he went back to reading his book. If by the off chance Naruto did develop that ability, he would deal with it when the time came.

--

**Real World**

Ino had reached a boiling point as one of Naruto's newly instated fan girls questioned why he would waste his time with her, Ino, when he could have her; the fan girl(s). This statement had caused Ino's world to stop as she knew that the red headed bimbo in front of her had just insinuated that she was more attractive than her. Such a suggestion obviously pissed off the Yamanka as she resolved that, since she could not pummel them into oblivion due to her injury, she would stop at nothing to get these girls away from her and her theoretical man as she gently tugged at Naruto's collar. Naruto ceased talking with the girls as he looked down at Ino, who was giving him a disappointed pout as well as sad puppy dog eyes.

"Y-you said you would take me to see Tsunade-sama, Naru-kun. But since you're just talking to these _**street** **whores**_," these words she spoke with malice, "I guess you just don't care about me…" she said every word in a weak voice while wiping away an imaginary tear, before proceeding to fake-cry into Naruto's shirt.

The effects were instantaneous as Naruto's eyes softened and he started babbling something incoherent to both her and his fan girls before telling Sai to follow him as he walked away. The group of girls looked angrily at Ino while the Yamanka looked back at them once Naruto started to walk away, a haughty smile adorning her face, before nuzzling her head back into Naruto's chest. Faux lover or not, Naruto was _her_ faux lover, and it was a known fact that Ino wasn't the type to share (especially with people who thought themselves prettier than herself).

"That was dirty Ino-chan," whispered Naruto, referring to Ino's use of the WGW3 (**W**omen **G**et **W**hat **W**omen **W**ant) Face, while walking with anime style tears running down his face. Ino, knowing that they were still within earshot of the girls, looked up with a large smile and bright eyes as she gave Naruto a peck on the cheek.

"I love you too, Naruto-kun!" responded Ino loudly. This action drove the fan girls feral as they furiously stomped away. Ino, who was ecstatic with her performance, then leaned her head against Naruto's bicep as she looked forward to see that the three of them were closing in on Shizune. Naruto then spoke up once they were within audible range.

"Umm, what the hell is going on Shizune-neechan?" asked Naruto. Shizune turned around to see the three shinobi, greeting them with a wave, before answering.

"Tsunade-sama is kind of… well actually incredibly pissed at the amount of paperwork she has today."

"Why does she have so much today?" questioned Ino. Shizune blushed as she tried not to look at the two.

"Let's just say that you and Naruto could make _a lot_ of money if you ever decided to make a For Mature Shinobi Only Video." The two blonde's faces flushed before Sai motioned for them to follow him inside the building. Once Naruto and Ino bid farewell to Shizune, Naruto made his way toward the ex-Root member as they attempted to enter the building… with attempted being the key word. The second they opened the door to the tower, an avalanche of papers fell on top of them. Once the three managed to regain their bearings they made their way into the tower, only to see that there were papers littered around everywhere. Once Naruto and Sai had managed to make it to the stairs, the three wondered just how wise it would be to see their leader at this moment in time.

* * *

One of the things that Tsunade, the Gondaime Hokage, had learned in the past three years was that Yamanka Ino could, when desired, be just as loud and cause as much trouble as Konoha's resident Jinchuuriki. So naturally the thought of the male and female blondes being together for some reason would cause her mind to wonder just how long it would take for the two of them to accidently eradicate and/or incinerate the village. But never in her wildest fantasies could she imagine just how much paperwork the two could generate for her without even having to go on so much as a _single_ date! Ino, together with Uzumaki Naruto, had caused her workload to all but quadruplicate itself on the first day that the male blonde had come back!

How is this possible you may ask? Well it was simple. _**Every**_ last resident and shinobi in Konohagakure no Sato was requesting (and in some cases offering their souls) for a poster sized picture of the two's faux sexual adventure(s). When asked why Anko couldn't simply give them her copies, they responded by saying that the Jounin had exceeded Konoha's trade limit, and now every last item that she handed out would generate legal papers, which the Hokage would have to fill out.

And keep in mind that these were not your everyday 'sign and you're done' papers. Oh hell no, if that were the case Tsunade would have cried with joy. No, these were the papers of demonic origin, the 'sign here, initial there, ANBU registration number over here' kind of papers.

So it was only logical that when the two temporary banes of her life entered her office that she found herself trying exceedingly hard not to erase them from existence. Instead she found herself unknowingly giving off a large amount of killing intent as she stared down the male and female. Sai, while being naïve, was not stupid, and so he quickly vanished in a swirl of leaves seeing as how his mission was accomplished. Naruto and Ino, who were not as lucky as their companion, were left to bear the mental assault that the Hokage was putting them through with her constant staring. Finally the Hokage seemed to calm down as she sat down in her chair.

"Naruto, Ino, I called you two in here for two reasons," Tsunade held up a finger, "One: I'm assigning Ino a mission," she then held up another finger, "and Two: I want to know why you were and what you did at Iwa, Naruto." The two being addressed nodded.

"First off, Yamanka Ino, from here on out you will be charged with making sure Uzumaki Naruto has stable mental health." The two blonde's eyes widened at this.

"Tsunade-sama why would Naruto need me to do that?" Tsunade sighed as she looked at Naruto.

"Shall I tell her or should you?"

"You can I guess, as long as you don't tell her about _it_." Tsunade nodded as she told Ino of the events of the previous nights, as well as everything Jiraiya had told her. She of course excluded to tell Ino of anything pertaining to the Kyuubi. By the end of the explanation Ino's eyes were even wider as she looked at Naruto.

"Why do the villagers dislike you so much Naruto?" Naruto shrugged his shoulders and before Ino could reprimand him for giving such a lame answer, Tsunade spoke up.

"So do you accept the mission?" Ino, who was still slightly peeved at Naruto's answer, took a moment before answering.

"Yes."

"Ok then, now that that is taken care of," Tsunade took time to compose herself before she erupted from her seat like a volcano and looked at Naruto, "what the fuck were you and Jiraiya doing in Iwa?!" Naruto put on a foxy smirk as he sat Ino down in a chair before reaching into his shirt. However a minute later his eyes flashed with confusion before realization suddenly appeared in them as he took out a scroll.

"Before I tell you guys anything let me tell you that this necklace always transports itself into this scroll when my other side takes over, because I'm not sure what he'll do with it." The blonde then did a few hand seals as a cloud of smoke suddenly filled the room. Once it cleared it revealed Naruto holding up the same necklace that he had won from Tsunade, but attached to it were two halves of a red jewel that was shaped exactly like the green one in the middle. Ino looked at it with starry eyes while Tsunade had a look of disbelief on her face.

"N-no way… h-how did you…?" but the Hokage was cut off as Ino squealed and pulled Naruto down to her and looked at the necklace up close.

"Wow! It's beautiful Naruto!" Naruto smiled as he handed the necklace to Ino so she could admire it while Naruto talked with Tsunade.

"Let's just say Koishi-baachan has just as much bad luck as you, Baa-chan." With that said Naruto commenced with his telling of why he and his tutor were in Iwa.

"It all started when we were visiting Suna…"

_**--Flashback (1½ Years into Training)**__**--**_

_**(Since this flashback is so long I won't italicize it)**_

It was a rather peaceful day in Suna, or as peaceful as a day got when one Uzumaki Naruto was involved. Naruto and the Kazekage, Gaara, were currently sitting on the stools of one of the few places in Suna that sold ramen. Naruto, who had only a few hours earlier arrived with Jiraiya so that the pervert could do research, was currently devouring his ramen at an inhuman pace as he continued his conversation with Gaara. Gaara, who was eating much slower, also sustained the two's discussion on whether or not ramen laced kunai would be an effective weapon.

During their chat, both of them were aware of the fact that the group of three next to them (1 besides Naruto and 2 besides Gaara) had been following them for the whole day and were obviously not civilians, nor were they shinobi of Suna.

After a while Naruto got annoyed with the three ninjas silence at the small restaurant and questioned them for the reason they had been following them. The result was one of the nin surprising both the blonde and the redhead as he grabbed the necklace Naruto was wearing before he and the other two shinobi disappeared.

The Kyuubi container was wide eyed and silent before he looked at the former vessel of Shukaku. Gaara nodded as he and Naruto disappeared in a small whirlwind of sand in order to pursue the three warriors.

The two reappeared outside of Suna only to be greeted with the site of not only the three nin at the bar, but also about 75 other shinobi. The two groups looked at each other in a tense silence before Naruto spoke up, pointing at the man who was currently in possession of his necklace.

"Hey, bastard, give me that back before I kick your ass!" Naruto yelled, flaring his chakra.

"Sorry kid, but I'm just following orders." Before Naruto knew it, the man and his two companions were off and running as the small army of 75 moved in on both he and Gaara. Naruto cursed as he activated his just recently perfected _Fuuton: Kaze_ jutsu while Gaara started spinning his sand.

"What the fuck are these guys doing here?" questioned Naruto. Gaara merely shrugged before speaking.

"No _Kage Bunshins_ Naruto," spoke Gaara as Naruto nodded. The Kazekage was looking for a good fight. The battle commenced as five of the shinobi of unknown origin charged towards the two, only to be impaled by numerous spikes of sand. Two more charged forward, only to be struck in the heart by two kunai imbued with wind chakra. The wind chakra tore through their bodies and made their way toward two other nin behind them, who were also struck down.

"Probably only mid-Chuunin at best," stated Naruto. Gaara said nothing as the rest of the army charged toward the two of them. Naruto extended his right arm and sent a torrent of wind toward them, killing nine and leaving several with grave slashes. Three of the shinobi used a jutsu to form three spiked columns of rocks which they sent toward Gaara, who used his sand to catch the projectiles and send in back toward the crowd, killing 15 or so.

Naruto, not to be outdone, did a number of hand seals as he sent a dragon of fire toward the army which managed to catch some of the less experienced warriors off guard, burning them to death. The blonde then took out numerous kunai and shuriken, augmenting them with wind chakra before hurling them toward the mass of shinobi. The nin, unknowing to the fact that the projectiles were entwined with elemental chakra, were killed as the weapons they used in an attempt to block the steel objects shattered. Once the army was within taijutsu distance, Gaara used his sand to levitate high into the air, where he used his control of the desert to start impaling/crushing the unknown shinobi under him.

Naruto meanwhile had just ducked to avoid a punch before sending the opponent flying with an air-enhanced uppercut. He then leaned to the left to avoid a katana, kneeing the wielder in the stomach and hitting him in the back of his neck with his forearm, killing him. He then quickly took out a kunai as he deflected three incoming shuriken behind him before raising his left arm and sending a violent gust of wind toward the direction the objects came from. The blonde then gathered chakra in his feet as he jumped high in the air to avoid being pulled underground via some ninja and landed besides Gaara.

"Gaara we should hurry this up or we might not be able to catch up with those bastards who took my necklace." Gaara nodded as he held out both of his arms, his hands facing the ground. Seeing no need to use _Ryusa Bakuryu (Quicksand in the Style of a Waterfall) _since they were already in the desert, the Kazekage decided he would end it quickly.

"_Sabaku Taiso (Desert Imperial Funeral),"_ spoke the sand user as the sand in the desert suddenly rose and compressed itself around the remaining shinobi, killing them instantly. Gaara lowered both he and his companion to the ground, where Naruto walked up to the body of one of the deceased warriors. The blonde inspected the body and rose once he found what he was searching for: a headband.

"Looks like these guys are from Iwa," stated Naruto.

"The trip takes about 6 hours for a well trained ninja," spoke the Kazekage. Naruto nodded and gave Gaara a foxy grin.

"That's more than enough time to catch up to them and kick their asses!" Gaara smirked. Naruto, at Gaara's request, made a Kage Bunshin in order to inform Temari and Kankuro of the situation and tell them to take responsibility of Suna while he was gone. The clone nodded and once he left, the blonde and redhead leapt off in order to catch up with the three nin.

**5 Hours Later In a Forest**

It took a while, for the three nin were obviously adept at hiding covering their tracks, but the duo had soon come within sight of the three. Naruto took out a kunai with an explosive note on it and threw it toward them, deciding it would be best to end it quickly. The three nin dodged it easily, but were thrown slightly off balance by the explosion. The small amount of time it took for them to fully regain their coordination was enough for both Naruto and Gaara to catch up to them.

Now running almost side to side, the two shinobi could see that the three next to them were two elderly men along with one equally as old woman. Naruto summoned a group of Kage Bunshin to attack the three, but before they could even so much as reach the three they were destroyed by a barrage of what seemed to be sharp and shiny shards. Before Naruto could utter a sound a blur of color moved in on him and knocked him unconscious.

Gaara's eyes widened as his sand rose behind him to protect him from a chop to the neck. However his sand was not able to withstand the onslaught of numerous shiny shards as he was pelted with the projectiles, and once his sand slowed down a bit, knocked unconscious by the assailant. The three nin were quick to arrive once Naruto and Gaara were down, kneeling before the attacker.

"Well done, Koishi-sama, but why are you here?" asked the elderly woman.

"From the gates of Iwa, I could sense two strong chakra sources and decided that you three would need some help," explained the younger woman. The three nodded as the two men took out kunai, intending to end the lives of both Naruto and Gaara. However before they could finish their task they were stopped by their leader, holding both of their wrists.

"I am grateful you wish to aid me, but killing them won't be necessary."

"Why not Tsuchikage-sama?"

"Because I am pretty sure Jiraiya wouldn't appreciate it, am I right pervert?" With that said the Toad Sannin of Konoha came out of his hiding place above the trees, a smirk on his face.

"As usual, Koishi-hime."

"So, am I to assume the blonde one is your student, and the redhead is the Kazekage?" questioned Koishi. Jiraiya nodded.

"Yep, the blonde is Uzumaki Naruto, and the Kazekage is Gaara." Koishi's eyes widened for a fraction of a second at the mention of 'Uzumaki' but soon schooled her face back to normal.

"As I've heard, is he not he container of the Kyuubi?" Jiraiya nodded. Koishi looked at both the blonde and redhead once more before looking at the white haired Sannin.

"Well then since I still owe you for getting me Tsunade bitch's technique for keeping my body youthful, I guess you can take these two." The Tsuchikage soon frowned as Jiraiya said no.

"And why not?"

"Because I am pretty sure the brat would just come after you the first chance he gets to get his necklace back," stated the Sannin, pointing to the necklace that was currently being held by one of the elderly men.

"So what do you suppose I do? You know the bet I have going on with Tsunade bitch, I need this necklace," said Koishi while taking the necklace out of her subordinates hand. Jiraiya smirked.

"Well I have wager for you…"

**3 Hours Later In Iwa**

Naruto groaned as he got up. The back of his neck hurt but thankfully he found himself with a pillow to his head. After realizing this fact the blonde jumped out of the bed and took out a kunai. He knew that he was definitely not in a bed when he was knocked unconscious. He looked around the room and noticed that Gaara was on another bed, still sleeping. He also noticed that he seemed to be in a hospital like room. Naruto quietly exited the room and entered what seemed to be a hallway before a voice spoke up.

"Looks like you're awake, gaki." Naruto turned to his right and saw Jiraiya leaning on the wall.

"Where the hell are we Ero-Sennin?" Jiraiya sighed as he motioned for Naruto to follow as he started walking.

"Look Naruto, right now we're in Iwa…"

"What the fuck!? Why are we here?" shouted the Jinchuuriki. Jiraiya hit Naruto over the head for interrupting before continuing.

"Like I said, we're in Iwa, and we're here because I'm pretty sure you want your necklace back." Naruto nodded.

"And since Oohi Koishi, the Tsuchikage and the person who knocked you and Gaara out, is currently in possession of it, this is the only place we can get it." Naruto nodded once again before speaking up.

"So why didn't she kill us once she knocked us out, doesn't Iwa hate Konoha?" Jiraiya nodded before talking.

"Yes, Iwa is still bitter about its loss to Konoha during the war, but you see Koishi owes me a favor or two for helping her get Tsunade's technique for looking youthful." This made sense to Naruto as the pair of master and student soon reached a door elaborately designed with what seemed to be diamonds. The two entered and inside the room was a brunette with long curly hair with green eyes. Equipped with a beautiful face, a curvy body, she had breasts and a butt comparable to Tsunade herself, with the height to match.

She was dressed in green sweat pants as well as a white low cut T-Shirt which had sleeves that only went past the shoulders. Her footwear seemed to consist of the same high heels worn by Tsunade. All in all she could pass to be the Hokage's sister, if not for her hair and eyes.

"Took you long enough," spoke the female, hopping off the desk and walking towards the two. Once within a yard of the two she smirked and pulled out Naruto's necklace, causing the blonde to widen his eyes.

"Give me that thing back, you old bitch!" Jiraiya could almost feel hell freeze beneath his feet as Koishi erupted, giving off mass amounts of killer intent.

"What did you call me, you blonde dumbass!?" Naruto, seeming unfazed by the amount of palpable death in the room, pointed toward the Tsuchikage.

"You heard me you age concealing old lady! Give me back my necklace before I take out all the air in those fake things!" screamed the blonde, pointing toward the woman's ample chest. Koishi blushed furiously before punching Naruto and sending him through the wall.

"For starters these aren't fake," stated Koishi, pointing toward her breasts, "and two, if you want this necklace so bad, then you have to earn it." Naruto, who had already pulled himself out of the wall (he was used to this by now) looked at the Tsuchikage with determination.

"And what do I have to do to earn it, Koishi-baa?" Both Naruto and Jiraiya could see the vein on the woman's forehead due to Naruto's name calling, but it soon disappeared as she calmed down.

"Simple," she smirked, "I have a proposition for you."

"Which would be?" asked the blonde.

"If you beat me in a fight, I will give you your necklace back, along with my necklace," Koishi then took out her necklace, which was a red version of Naruto's except it was split in two with the two pieces facing away from each other, before speaking once again.

"And **when** I win, I get to keep your necklace, and you along with the pervert and the Kazekage die," stated the Tsuchikage. Naruto didn't even need a second to think as his eyes flared with resolve.

"Let's go then! I won't die until I become," Naruto 2 slightly took control, "a **Kage **anyway."

**15 Minutes Later **

The group of one blonde, one Sannin, and two Kages (Gaara woke up a while ago) were now located in a very rocky terrain, which Koishi explained was used often as a training area.

"This is your last chance to just run away brat," Koishi said while stretching.

"I never run away old lady." With that said Jiraiya and Gaara Shushined away as both Naruto and Koishi started flaring their chakra and getting into fighting stances.

Naruto was first to attack as he charged toward the Tsuchikage and threw a fist at her face. The female easily dodged the punch and sent one of her own toward the male. Naruto blocked the punch with his spare hand but cringed as he held it there.

Koishi's punch seemed to involve the extension of the index and middle finger's middle joint. It also appeared that she reinforced those two fingers with chakra as Naruto felt intense pain when his stomach was hit by Koishi's other hand, knocking the air out of him. Naruto then leapt away while shaking hand and taking deep breaths.

Jiraiya cringed as he saw his apprentice struggling to fill his lungs with air. While Koishi's punches weren't a one hit KO like Tsunade's were, they were still powerful. Naruto now knew this all too well as he made around 50 Kage Bunshins that ran toward the brunette. Koishi simply smiled as she danced around the clones gracefully, taking them out with expertly placed blows to vital areas despite the fact she knew they would disappear even with just a regular hit, indifferent to whether the blonde shinobi would see her taijutsu style.

Naruto cursed as the last of his clones vanished and made another 100, all of which charged toward the Tsuchikage with reckless abandon. Koishi looked at the clones, this time with a frown, as she once again elegantly dodged every single one of their blows, using a series of complex moves to finish them all off in a matter of seconds.

'Looks like she actually has a taijutsu style as opposed to Tsunade-baachan, who only needs to land one hit to finish a fight,' thought Naruto as he analyzed the information he gathered from his clones. However, even without this info the blonde knew he more than likely would not be able to beat the brunette in a taijutsu match. With this thought in mind he knew exactly what to do… and that was to engage her in taijutsu anyway.

Koishi looked on with amused eyes as she saw the young nin once again charging straight at her. The blonde was obviously learning Jiraiya's taijutsu style. Once Naruto reached his target he attempted a roundhouse kick, which Koishi easily dodged. The female then tried a sweep kick which she found managed to hit the shinobi and cause him to descend toward the ground. This however seemed to be part of Naruto's plan as he grabbed hold of Koishi's hair as he fell, causing her head to crash into the ground along with his.

"Damn you brat…" The Tsuchikage soon leapt in the air as she went through a series of hand seals. Once done, a dragon made of earth rose up and under her, allowing her to stand on it. Naruto looked up as the dragon opened its mouth, shooting an abundant amount of earth spikes at him. Naruto cursed as he started dodging while forming half a ram seal and gathering chakra.

"_Fuuton: Kaze (Wind Release: Wind),"_ stated the blonde as he started deflecting and destroying some of the spikes by sending torrents of air toward them. Koishi was slightly impressed that the blonde had apparently mastered one of Jiraiya techniques as she leapt off of the dragon, which soon started a suicidal crash course towards Naruto. Said Jinchuuriki looked toward the dragon and cursed as he flashed through hand seals and cupped his hands together, sending several small currents of lighting toward the dragon.

Due to earth's weakness to lighting, the dragon crumbled easily as Naruto looked at Koishi who leapt through the dust caused by the destruction of the earth serpent. The female used her taijutsu style punch on Naruto's left shoulder, causing him to have to muffle a scream of pain.

She then kneed him in the stomach before she spun around him and punched the back of the same shoulder, shattering it. Naruto fell to the ground in pain before being kicked it the back and sent flying by the Tsuchikage. He landed on the ground a good distance away from the brunette, forming a small crater.

"Come now, is that all you got?" questioned Koishi as Naruto struggled to get up. Naruto cursed as he felt his left shoulder being repaired by the Kyuubi and was soon able to move his left arm again. 

Koishi was surprised when she saw the blonde run through a series of hand seals, but was still able to jump away once the blonde finished and the ground below her turned into a swamp.

"_Doton: Yomi Numa (Earth Release: Swamp of the Underworld),"_ Naruto whispered under his breath. The swamp was huge due to the fact that Naruto had so much chakra and Koishi couldn't find any solid ground that she could reach within her jump. With this in mind she started making hand seals and once done put her index finger and thumb to her mouth.

"_Doton: Doryuheki (Earth Release: Earth Rising Wall),"_ Koishi said softly as she sent a stream of mud toward the swamp, which soon hardened into a rocky surface which she landed on. She then went through the same series of hand seals again as she was forced to make another platform since the one she was standing on was already sinking. This process continued until the Tsuchikage was able to jump and reach solid ground. Once there she found that the swamp started receding back to its user until it completely disappeared.

"Well to be honest that was pretty good brat. I wasted a good amount of my chakra getting out of there." The reply Koishi got was Naruto leaping into the air and descending down on her, a sphere of whirling chakra in his hand. The brunette recognized this move as she barely got out of the way, the ground she was once standing on now being horribly marred by the effects of the jutsu.

"_Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)," _said Naruto as he once again formed the same ball of chakra. The blonde charged but was met with a kick to his ribs and a punch to his chest as he was sent flying backwards. This did not deter Naruto in the least as red charka started to gather around his body, his eyes turning into red slits. The blonde soon sent a large wave of clones toward Koishi, while he and another clone each formed a Rasengan.

Koishi sighed as she once again went through the task of destroying the large mass of Naruto clones. It was obvious the boy needed training in the taijutsu apartment as she easily sidestepped a punch and ducked under a kick.

After destroying over half the clones she was surprised to see Naruto charging at her with a Rasengan in hand. The female simply leaned her body to avoid the hand with the sphere before kneeing Naruto in the stomach. However to her surprise the blonde disappeared in a cloud of smoke, indicating that it was a clone. Her eyes soon widened in pain as she was hit in the back with a Rasengan.

Once the attack hit, Koishi was sent flying until she hit a large pillar of earth. She then looked at the attacker and saw none other than Naruto, grinning while breathing heavily.

"Damn it kid, if you really want to die you should have just told me!" With that exclamation the Tsuchikage went through a series of hand seals.

"_Doton: Retsudotensho (Earth Release: Split Earth Turn Around Palm)."_ The ground around and under the blonde soon started to spiral inwards, as Naruto found his feet already sinking toward the bottom like quicksand. Naruto struggled to pull his legs out of the sinking earth but found he couldn't despite how much of Kyuubi's chakra he gathered to his feet.

"Give it up brat, it's over once you reach the bottom, and don't think that the Kyuubi's chakra will help," she smirked."for you see just as how your necklace has the ability to suppress demonic chakra so does mine," spoke Koishi, whose necklace was currently touching the ground and glowing. Despite this Naruto looked at the brunette with fierce determination in his fox eyes.

"I'm not about to lose to an old lady like you!" With that said Naruto's eyes flashed a light purple for a split second before the Kyuubi's chakra went away and his eyes returned to normal. Naruto then held up half a ram seal.

"_Fuuton: Kaze!"_ he shouted as wind once again started moving around him. The blonde then started to concentrate heavily as he focused on the Kyuubi's elemental chakra.

'_I haven't mastered it yet, but there isn't any other way I can get out of this_.' With that thought sparks of blue lightning started to ignite at random places around the young man. This continued for about three seconds until the small sparks managed to stay alive long enough to connect with each other, causing currents of electricity to start wrapping itself around the wind. Naruto gave a foxy grin to Koishi as the lighting-wind started moving faster.

"Better be ready to lose Koishi-baa!" Naruto then used the lighting-wind around his legs to break free of the swirling earth and leapt into the air. He held out his hand and sent a gust of wind toward the female, who dodged it but not before gaining a few scratches. The ground however was not as lucky as it had been massacred by the lighting augmented wind.

The blonde then engaged the brunette in a taijutsu match, sending a punch toward her. Koishi found it to be much harder this time around, as every time she dodged or blocked an attack she would still be injured by the lightning-wind.

However she found that as the confrontation drew on, Naruto seemed to be getting slower. It was then she realized that using lightning along with the _Fuuton: Kaze_ must have taken a lot out of the blonde. With this knowledge she continued the close range combat until Naruto left her an opening, sending as strong a punch she could muster directly to Naruto's ribcage.

The punch hit its mark as Naruto was sent flying back into numerous rock formations, his jutsu deactivating and his ribcage more than likely shattered. The brunette Tsuchikage's breathing was slightly labored as she started slowly going through hand seals. She had underestimated her blonde opponent, but it didn't matter, she would end it now.

"You did good brat, I'm impressed," spoke Koishi as she finished her hand seals, "but it's over now." Koishi then slammed her hand into the ground, causing seals to spew forth from her palm and around the area.

"_Kuchiyose: Daiyamondo Yaiba (Summoning: Diamond Blade)."_ A puff a smoke appeared and once it cleared, revealed a double bladed sword made out of pure diamond.

The blades of said sword were serrated at the edge and larger than usual. The handle of the sword was elaborately decorated with pictures of several dragons, seemingly made of diamond. Even the hilts of the weapon were made of the precious stone. Also due to the sunslight and the fact that the sword was made of diamond, it gave off a rather magnificent light/rainbow effect. All in all it truly was a beautiful weapon that simply radiated with power. Naruto, who had now gotten up, stared at the sword with a mix of awe and fear.

"This is the end brat," Koishi said as she started spinning the double bladed weapon, pointing it toward Naruto. Said blonde knew that whatever the Tsuchikage was planning was more than likely not good as he made a Kage Bunshin.

'_Looks like I'll have to try and end it too_.' Gathering the Kyuubi's chakra, Naruto started to prepare his final attack.

"_Rasengan."_ A sphere of spinning chakra materialized in Naruto's hand. His clone then put his hands over the originals and started pumping elemental chakra into the ball until it changed shape and gained four small blades made of wind, poofing out of existence once its task was done. At the same time Naruto finished his jutsu, Koishi did to as a black vortex seemed to open up in front of the spinning sword. From out of the vortex came countless diamond shards that launced themselves toward their target as Naruto in turn charged toward them, jutsu in hand.

"_Daiyamondo Arare (Diamond Hail)!"_

"_Fuuton: Rasengan (Wind Release: Spiraling Sphere)!"_

The two jutsu met head on and a large explosion caused a mini earthquake through Iwa. Several seconds later one could see Koishi standing through the smoke, slightly panting as she looked into the huge cloud of dust, trying to see whether or not her blonde opponent was still alive.

From out of the cloud flew two kunai, which she easily dodged. When the dust cleared she was greeted with the sight of a beat up Naruto, clutching the right side of his ribcage with his left hand. The blonde's right arm was the bloodiest part of his body and was hanging uselessly at his side, a few small shards of diamond imbedded in it.

"Well brat, you fought hard, but you lost," stated Koishi as she slowly made her way toward the young man. Naruto, struggling to keep standing, painfully raised his right arm and activated his _Fuuton: Kaze_ jutsu. The technique activated, but harmlessly dispersed almost instantly as Naruto fell to his knees.

"You really don't know when to give up, do you?" Naruto, despite his condition, looked up at Koishi with a foxy grin.

"I was never a good student when I was in the Academy so…" Naruto started before he coughed up blood and fell to the ground, barely conscious. Koishi's face held no emotion as she raised her sword, but hesitated to bring it down on the young man in front of her, for she thought it a waste for such a fine shinobi to die because of a bet. Seconds passed before she finally decided she would end it, but just as she was about the end the boy's life she found that she couldn't move her right arm and that something cold and steely was pressed against her neck.

"…I never really learned how to give up." With that said Koishi's eyes widened as she realized that one Naruto clone was holding her arm and another one was pressing a kunai against her neck.

"How?" asked the Tsuchikage in confusion, carefully moving her head so as to look at the clone behind her. It was then that she received her answer as she saw that the ground beyond the clone was kunai-less.

'_What a guy… Those two kunai were henged Kage Bunshin_,' thought Koishi. Jiraiya smiled as he saw that his apprentice had outsmarted the Tsuchikage.

"Looks like I still have a habit of picking brats who have great potential, Koishi-hime." It was Koishi's turn to smile as she realized that she was beat. The blonde had pulled a fast one on her.

"Looks like it Jiraiya." After saying that Koishi dropped her sword and raised her hands as far as the clones would let her.

"You win, Uzumaki Naruto." The two clones grinned before they dispersed. Koishi sighed as she took out her necklace along with Naruto's. She then untied both necklaces, took out her jewels, and placed them on Naruto's necklace. She then moved in on the now fully unconscious blonde and placed it around his neck.

"To beat me, underestimation or not, is not small feat, brat," Koishi whispered as she put Naruto's head on her lap, "you'll make a fine Kage." Koishi then looked at Jiraiya.

"Jiraiya, you should stay in Iwa for awhile and let me train this kid, his taijutsu sucks." Jiraiya grinned as he nodded his head.

"Yeah, I've never put that much effort into teaching him hand-to-hand combat." '_It will also let me do some research if we stay around here_.' Jiraiya's grin became wider as he saw Koishi running her hands through Naruto's hair in a motherly way before starting to heal some of his wounds.

"This kid is packed full of resolve," Koishi smiled at Jiraiya, "he'll do great things." Jiraiya returned her smile with his own.

"Looks like I also have a habit of picking brats who are impossible to not grow fond of," whispered the Toad Sannin.

_**--Flashback Over --**_

Tsunade was speechless as Naruto finished his tale, but at the same time was grinning crazily. It seemed that Naruto had pulled a fast one on Koishi in the same fashion he pulled one on her. Just as Tsunade was about to speak she realized something.

"HOLY KAMI! INO GIVE ME THAT!" yelled the blonde Hokage as she snatched the necklace out of Ino's hands. Tsunade looked at the piece of jewelry with awe as she couldn't suppress the smile that was forming on her face.

"Umm, what was that for Hokage-sama?" questioned Ino. Tsunade looked at her with a wide smile before opening a drawer from her desk. She then took out a plain looking box, which had the shape of Naruto's necklace engraved in it. She placed the necklace over it and a bright light blinded all three occupants of the room.

Once the light faded the three looked inside of the box, only to see a small rectangular piece of paper. The paper, upon further inspection, turned out to be a check. However this check was what one would deem as one of the most precious gifts god could give. It was a blank check and where one's signature would usually go was the name Oohi Koishi.

"You see Ino, both me and Koishi bitch are slightly fond of gambling," at this Naruto coughed, which earned him a one way trip to the bottom floor of the tower, "and when we were younger we both realized there was a chance we might one day be in heavy debt. So the two of us made a bet that whoever lost their necklace first would have to pay the others debt. And thanks to Naruto there," the Hokage pointed to the bottom floor of the building, "I won the bet!" Ino gave a somewhat freaked out smile at the Hokage, catching the necklace once Tsunade threw it, before Naruto managed to climb back into the room.

"Is that all you called us here for Tsunade-baachan?" questioned Naruto. Tsunade nodded as she took out a bunch of papers, more than likely gambling bills. Once he received his answer Naruto moved in to pick up Ino, but not before he remembered something.

"Oy Baa-chan, can you heal Ino-chan?" Tsunade looked at the two with mischievous eyes.

"Why is it that I don't feel like I need three guesses to figure out what part of her body I need to heal?" At this both of the younger blondes flushed as Naruto started flailing his arms.

"It's not like that Tsunade-baachan! You have to heal her thighs…" Naruto started but was interrupted.

"Her thighs too! I never knew you were such a beast, Naruto," Tsunade could barely contain her laughter as Naruto and Ino's face became the same color as Kyuubi's eyes. Her control over her mirth was finally broken when Naruto, who had a defeated look on his face, made his move to pick up Ino.

"Hahaha I w-was just kidding brat!" stated Tsunade, her laughter making it hard to speak. Naruto and Ino looked at their Hokage with bewildered eyes as the she made her way over to them.

"I know that you two didn't really do the naughty." With that said the Hokage asked Ino which part of her body hurt, to which the younger blonde female pointed to her inner thigh.

"How do you know we didn't have sex, Tsunade-sama?" inquired a curious Ino. Tsunade, who was now a work at healing Ino (Tsunade can heal through clothes I guess…) looked up at Naruto.

"You learned the pervert's style, am I correct?" Naruto nodded.

"Well there is your answer Ino." Said Yamanka looked at Tsunade with a bemused look on her face.

"What does that mean, Tsunade-sama?" At this Tsunade's eyes widened as she once again looked at Naruto.

"You didn't tell her the other use of that style?" Naruto nervously shook his head as Tsunade sighed.

"Never mind Ino, let's just say that if you ever really let Naruto rock your world, it would take me a lot longer to heal you," Tsunade said as she finished healing Ino. The two thanked her and just as they were about to walk out the door Naruto remembered another thing.

"Hey Tsunade-baachan, can you help me out with my chakra control?" At this Tsunade raised an eyebrow as she looked at the young male.

"And why would you need me to do that?"

"Well I'm trying to master the _Kaze Tate_…" This was as far as Naruto needed to go as Tsunade understood the Jinchuuriki's dilemma perfectly. The _Kaze Tate_ required at least medical ninja level chakra control to become decent at it. To master it took control that was on par with a Sannin. The Hokage looked at Ino before speaking.

"Ino, I am sure you are familiar with the medical nin's training ground," Ino nodded, "good, would you mind helping Naruto train then?"

"I'd gladly help, Tsunade-sama." Tsunade nodded as she then motioned for the two to leave. That was just what to two were about to do, before the entrance to the room was opened by everyone's favorite redheaded sand user.

"Gaara! How many villagers did you have to kill to be sent here?" joked Naruto as he extended his hand to the former Jinchuuriki. Gaara grasped Naruto's hand in his own as he greeted them. Naruto also greeted Temari and Kankuro who were behind their sibling.

"I'm simply here for a meeting with Konoha's council," stated Gaara. Once said Tsunade eyes widened as she looked at a calendar on the wall.

"Oh shit, that was today?" Gaara nodded as the Hokage sighed.

"Well damn, looks like I have to do this later." Tsunade then attended to the task of putting on the Hokage robes before motioning for the three members of the Sand to follow her. However before the four left Gaara looked at the two of them.

"In case you have forgotten, you are to meet with the rest at Team 7's training ground soon." With that said the Kazekage was off, leaving two blondes who soon disappeared in a puff of smoke. Naruto and Ino simply refused to be assigned D-Rank missions for the rest of their lives.

_****__**Team 7's Training Ground**_

When the blonde duo finally arrived at their destination, they had to do a double (and in Naruto's case triple) check of the area to make sure they were at the right place. In fact the only thing indicating they were in the right place was the fact that the rest of the Rookie 9 and Gai's Team was there. Walking up to his team members Naruto spoke up.

"What…" Started the blonde but was interrupted by the raven haired Uchiha.

"No idea." The rest of the group nodded with Sasuke's statement as Naruto sighed. It seemed that no one present could explain exactly why their senseis were currently sitting on a huge ass tarp that had the kanji for 'challenge' on it. Nor could they explain why the forest around them was currently being burned by intense white flames. And while it may seem like a stab in the dark, Naruto and Ino also assumed that they did not know how said white flames were not being put out by the ungodly rain storm that was occurring overhead.

"It is time!" yelled out Kakashi who was sitting at the northern point of the kanji, effectively bringing the two blondes out of their thoughts. Once the silver haired nin spoke the rest of the older nin slammed their palms into the tarp from their sitting positions at the west, south, and eastern points of the kanji. The result was a blinding light as a hurricane seemingly made out of all five elements erupted from the kanji.

All four of the Jounin were sent flying backwards and landed on the ground while the younger nin struggled to keep their balance, for once the hurricane started so did an earthquake. All the nin could see that the white inferno that was burning the trees had all but tripled in size and heat, while the rain was now falling significantly faster and the lightning was all but striking the very ground on which they stood. Not only that but the thunder pretty much broke the sound barrier with its cries, as the wind all but tore up the earth beneath them.

During the chaos Naruto noticed that the kanji was glowing the same color as the Kyuubi's chakra.

"**It seems a small amount of demon chakra is needed to complete the summoning.**" Naruto could hear his tenant state.

'_What the fuck? This is a summoning? For what?'_

"**Yes it is a summoning. And for what it summons why don't you put some of my chakra in it and see?**"

Naruto grunted as he decided to follow the Kyuubi's advice. Gathering as much chakra as he could into his feet, Naruto slowly started to make his way toward the tarp.

"What are you doing Naruto? You'll die if you get could to that thing!" shouted Kiba as loudly as he could so as to be heard over the sound of the wind and thunder.

"Yes, Kiba is right Naruto-kun! Not even your flames of youth can stop this unyouthful pandemonium!" The others seemed to acknowledge this fact as Neji and Choji took hold of Naruto's collar, denying him the ability to make it to the kanji. Naruto mentally cursed as the wind and earthquake combined with Neji and Choji didn't allow him to move, despite the amount of chakra he put into his legs.

'_Shit! Think Naruto…'_ It was at this moment that the wind picked up speed and he along with Neji and Choji were thrown back into a tree. Once Naruto got up his eyes widened as he was struck with inspiration. Raising his hand to form half a ram seal Naruto activated his _Fuuton: Kaze_ jutsu. Naruto then focused intently on Kyuubi's chakra as said demonic chakra began to wrap itself around the wind.

Once done Naruto raised his right palm as he gathered as much chakra as possible before shooting a torrent of wind at the tarp. Naruto's wind started to make its way through nature's as it soon finally hit the tarp. Once it did the hurricane slowly started to slow down and the rest of the natural disasters soon followed.

After a good five minutes everything settled down as five papers fell to the ground, each with the names of the five initiators of the challenge. Kakashi walked up the floating papers and grabbed them before turning to the rest with an eye smile.

"That was fun!" This earned him a trip through the forest, courtesy of Sakura. Once Kakashi made it back he looked at all the nin with a serious look.

"Ok, now that we have the proper paper work, we must make sure you are all eligible for the challenge before you sign the papers," Kakashi pointed toward Naruto and Ino, "and for you two, that you have completed the challenge." At this both Naruto and Ino felt as though someone poured ice water over their bodies.

'_Damn! I won't lose to Kakashi-sensei! Think damn it think!'_

**Flashback**

"_Remember Naruto, the clit is always…"_

**FlashbackOver**

'_FUCK! Damn you Ero-Sennin, damn you!_'

--

**In Naruto's Mind**

"**Shit**, having **to** be **a** part **of** this **challenge** would **put** a **dent** in **my** plans…" Naruto 2 spoke aloud. It was then that he remembered Ino. Naruto's second persona smiled as he once again looked at the Kyuubi.

"Let's **see** if **being** able **to** stay **awake** is **the **only **ability** I **gained**."

--

**Real World**

While Naruto was thinking, he for some reason had the insatiable urge to look at Ino. When the desire became too much for him he finally looked at his fellow blonde, and found for some reason he could not take his eyes of her lips, her succulent, full li…

'_Wait, what the fuck_?' thought Naruto as Ino blushed out of embarrassment as Naruto kept staring at her.

"Can I he…" Ino was interrupted as Naruto suddenly pushed her up against a tree, bending his head down until it was inches away from hers. Naruto took her left thigh into his right hand as his other was used to hold himself up against the tree. Being thrown off balance Ino was forced to wrap her hands around Naruto's neck, landing the two of them in the exact position they were in during their faux sexual escapades, save for the fact they had more clothes on.

"What are you doi…" Ino was once again interrupted as Naruto pushed his lips against hers, causing every cell in her body to experience miniature lightning storms. The rest of the ninja looked on with wide eyes while Kakashi couldn't help but look on with pride, as well as some shock.

"Well I guess that destroys my theory…" the Sharingan user said to himself, continuing to watch as his student used the first kiss in Jiraiya's patented list of **MWO** Kisses.

* * *

The Kyuubi looked on with wide eyes as he saw how Naruto 2 was able the manipulate Naruto's desires to suit his needs.

'_**I'm getting too old for this…**' _

* * *

A/N- Damn that flashback was beast. Anyway as stated before Iwa will play an important role in the future so I was sort of setting up for that in this chapter. And now its time for what might be everyone's favorite part of a fic…

_**Vote for Pairings Time!**_

Now obviously NaruIno is going to happen, but you guys still get to pick the other pairings. Everyone in the Rookie 9 and Gai's Team has to be paired up.

So please feel free to R/R

* * *


	6. Chapter 6: Challenge Begins

"Talking"

'_Thinking and Jutsus'_ Also Used For Emphasis

"**Demons + Summons Talking" **Also Used For Emphasis

'_**Demons + Summons Thinking**_' Also Used For Emphasis

_'__**Dark**__ Naruto __**Thinking**__'_

"**Dark** Naruto **Talking**"

'_Inner Somebody Talking__'_ Also Used For Emphasis

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto

* * *

Deciding he would worry about Naruto 2 later, they Kyuubi once again started to write.

"**After graduating from the academy, a shinobi must pass a test given to them by their sensei. The test varies from sensei to sensei, ranging from a simple spar to a rather complicated test, such as the bell test in which the students are required to get the bells from their teacher."**

* * *

In a rather dimly lit room sat an old man whose body housed an impressive number of scars and seemed to be missing an arm. In front of him was a kneeling masked ninja.

"What have you come to tell me, Koga?" The masked nin looked upward towards his leader.

"Danzo-sama, information tells me that Orochimaru is attempting to form alliances with a number of different villages." Danzo didn't outwardly show it, but this news surprised him.

'_Damn, that snake is making his move already?_'

"Also," spoke the nin, breaking the one armed man from his thoughts, "it seems that Uzumaki Naruto has returned." At this Danzo's one eye widened before a grin spread across his face.

"You don't say," said the man, "Koga, gather your squad, I have a mission for you."

* * *

Naruto had Ino against a tree. They were kissing. In public.

Such a summary was the best one that any of the nins present to witness this event would ever be able to give should they be asked to testify where Naruto and Ino had been on this day. As for Naruto and Ino? Well let us just say that their telling of the event would be _much_ more thorough.

'_Damn it! Move body!'_ Ino yelled to herself as she used all the willpower she could muster to simply form a coherent thought. To say she was not enjoying the kiss would be a sin that no god could ever forgive. In fact had Ino been on the more promiscuous side of the female scale she would have more than likely have had both herself and Naruto out of their clothes by now. However due to the fact that she wasn't, Ino was obviously frustrated at her body for acting the way it was.

'_Damn this…' _

'…_isn't good,' _thought Naruto as he simply couldn't stop his body from giving Ino the first **MWO** kiss. Whenever Naruto would try to stop himself, his body would just intensify the kiss. So to this dilemma, Naruto thought it wise to simply stop trying to not kiss the female blonde. This however resulted in another problem; if Naruto wasn't trying to stop himself, when would he stop?

'_What the…_'

**

* * *

**

Kyuubi's Cage

'…_**hell**__ is __**this**__,' _thought Naruto 2. Sure, he was the one who wanted his other half to kiss Ino, but not for this long. And just as his fellow personality had found out, no matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't stop orally attacking the blonde kunoichi.

"**This** isn't **good**…" spoke the darker persona of the jinchuuriki; after all, kissing Ino until he died wasn't exactly part of his plan. All the while the Kyuubi was analyzing the situation until, using all of his wisdom; he came up with a solution.

"**Oy, evil brat,**" spoke the demon, gaining Naruto 2's attention, "**lights out**". With this said the Kyuubi simply made a chakra tail and hit the blonde with it, knocking him out.

'_**Like I thought, he's still pretty weak in here and easy to control**_.' With the crisis solved, the fox went back to his book.

* * *

**Real World**

Just as Naruto began to accept the fact that he may very well be stuck kissing Ino against a tree for the rest of eternity, he found that he had regained control of his body. Feeling relief spread throughout his body the blonde quickly pulled away from the female's mouth and gently but swiftly let go of her.

Ino for her part found herself panting hard as she tried to fill her lungs with oxygen. All the while she was trying to eliminate the blush that had found its way to her face.

'_Damn he is a good kisser__,_' thought inner Ino. The kunoichi couldn't help but agree and was incredibly thankful for the tree behind her; for she doubted that she could hold herself up on her own. Meanwhile Naruto, who while just as dazed as Ino, found himself remembering why he had kissed the young kunoichi in the first place. Quickly composing himself Naruto looking toward the other nin and spoke.

"If you guys don't mind me and Ino-chan are going to find somewhere more private," declared Naruto with a foxy grin plastered to his face. With that said Naruto picked up Ino and the two blondes vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Well that was interesting," concluded one Copy Ninja Kakashi, "and now that it's over, we can begin testing the rest of you guys." With that said Kakashi nodded to Kurenai who returned the gesture before gathering chakra in her hand until it glowed green.

"Ok girls line up so I can test you." The kunoichis followed the instruction and lined up horizontally so they were side to side. All the while the males looked on with amazed and teary eyes. Was Kurenai really going to test for the females' virginity right out here in the open? It was too good to be true… and sadly it was. For you see it seemed that the fairer sex had found out that by simply swiping their hands across their most private areas they could see if one was a virgin if the green chakra turned white. So once the genjutsu mistress tested all the girls, each exam ending with white chakra, she just nodded toward Kakashi signaling that all the girls were eligible for the challenge.

"Well since all the girls are okay," spoke Yamato while doing hand seals, "it's time to test the guys." Seemingly done preparing for the jutsu the wood user slammed his right palm into the ground, producing a rather small shack like structure.

"Thank you Yamato," Kakashi then took out a hammer, an almost agonizingly dull kunai, and some duct tape, "which one of you guys want to go first?" The male shinobi looked like they had just seen Orochimaru naked as they started to slowly back away from the silver haired Sharingan user.

'_What the fuck!?' _was the single thought rushing through all the males' heads. The group of ninjas simply all kept hoping that the Jounin would for some reason simply forget to test them. Then just as it seemed that hell would sooner freeze over, the never fearful Lee decided to step up to bat.

"GAI-SENSEI!" the spandex wearing ninja turned to his teacher giving him the nice guy pose, "WATCH AS I CONQUER THIS TEST USING ALL OF THE YOUTH I HAVE ACCUMULATED UNDER YOUR TUTELAGE!!"

"THAT'S THAT SPIRIT LEE!" shouted the second beast of Konoha as his student entered the shack with his rival.

_**10 Minutes (and many, many high-pitched girly screams) Later…**_

"Lee are you ok?" questioned Gai.

"FUCK OFF YOU FREAKING BAG OF YOUTFUL, SPANDEX WEARING SHIT!" shouted Lee from his fetal position on the ground while holding his family jewels. Gai simply sweat dropped as he looked toward Neji.

"NEJI, WHY DON'T YOU GO TEST YOUR YOUTHFULNESS NOW THAT YOUR TEAMATE HAS DONE SO," the Byakugan wielder answered by throwing a rather sizeable rock at his teacher, hitting him in the head and knocking him out. Taking this as a signal the rest of the shinobi gathered chakra to their feet and tried to run as far away from the training ground as possible. However before they could accomplish their task they found that their feet were bound to the ground (that rhymed) by wooden roots.

"Sorry guys, but you have to be tested," with that said Yamato decided to pick Kiba as the next _patient_.

"NO!" came the uncharacteristic yell of the Inuzuka as the roots began dragging him toward the shack, "There's no need to see if I'm a virgin I mean think about it, I have fucking fleas! What kind of girl would want to sleep with me!?" hollered the dog nin as he publicly degraded himself in hopes of persuading Yamato. The ANBU captain was not moved however and Kiba was thrown into the shack, Kakashi following closely afterwards.

"Well then while they're in there, do any of you wish to volunteer to go next?" asked Kurenai. Needless to say no one volunteered…

_**A few hours later…**_

'_My god I swear it's at least two inches smaller,_' was the unified opinion of all the younger male ninja, all of whom had joined Lee, clasping their balls while in the fetal position. Even the group of Sasuke, Neji, and Shino, who were more or less the living embodiments of the phrase Cool, Calm, and Collected, could be seen rocking themselves in the dirt.

"Seeing as the tests are over," started Kakashi as he walked toward Sasuke and motioned for Sakura to follow him, "let the challenge begin!" he yelled as he disappeared in a puff of smoke, taking hold of the Uchiha as the two Sharingan users puffed away with the Haruno reluctantly trailing behind. The rest of the challengers followed suit, disappearing from the clearing along with their students. This left Temari and Kankuro alone, however both soon decided on heading to the Hokage Tower to wait for Gaara to finish up his meeting.

_**With Naruto and Ino**_

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!?" screamed Ino as she continued stomping Naruto's head into the ground. The jinchuuriki simply apologized again as he ate dirt. The two blondes were currently atop the Hokage Monument and needless to say Ino was pissed.

"I can't even fathom how people can even think I had sex with you!" yelled out a frustrated Ino as she finished abusing the male and proceeded to sit on a nearby log. Naruto for his part struggled to spit out the soil in his mouth before turning to grin at Ino.

"Maybe it's because they know you can't resist how sexy I am," answered Naruto. This reply resulted in a rather large Naruto-shaped crater forming on top of the Nidaime's head. Once Naruto once again pulled himself off the ground he put on an apologetic smile.

"Seriously though Ino-chan, I'm sorry it was the only thing I could think to do." Ino looked at Naruto as her angry look gradually softened until it ceased to exist, for whatever reason it was impossible for anyone to stay angry at the jinchuuriki.

"Just try not to do something like that without asking next time idiot," sighed Ino. Then just before she was about to suggest they get something to eat Ino realized where exactly they were.

"Naruto follow me," spoke the female as she motioned for Naruto to follow her. He did so and the two were off to venture into the woods that were located on top of and beyond the Hokage Monument. A few minutes later Naruto had found that Ino had led them into a clearing much like the one at Team 7's training ground, save for one major fact. The entire clearing was covered in what appeared to be bamboo sticks, all of which were at least 5 feet tall. They were spaced in a manner that each one was a good couple of steps away from the other.

"Naruto, this is the Medical Nins' Training Ground." Ino jumped on top of two bamboo sticks. Naruto took this as an invitation to do the same and jumped up onto two as well. Two different amounts of chakra coursed though his body before the sticks gave way to his weight and he fell to the ground face first. Ino giggled as the blonde pushed himself of the ground and unto his butt.

"What the fuck?" asked Naruto. Ino giggled some more as she leapt down toward Naruto and helped pull him off the earth.

"Naruto you felt something weird when you landed on the bamboo sticks right?"

"Yea it was like chakra."

"Well you see," Ino once again jumped and landed onto the wooden rods, "these bamboo sticks are special, as you need to use chakra to stay on top of them. The thing is…" Ino began but couldn't finish as Naruto once again leapt unto the sticks, this time putting chakra into his feet. Once he landed the blonde managed to stay on for about half a second before being blasted off by his own chakra. Once he landed Ino looked on with amused eyes as she shook her head at him.

"As I was saying the thing about the sticks is that each of them requires a different amount of chakra to stick too. This is the reason you felt chakra being sent into your body. The amount of chakra the stick sends to you, you have to match it perfectly and maintain it to stand. Too much and you'll be blasted off, too little and the stick won't be strong enough to carry your weight and it will bend over." Naruto analyzed this info before looking at the sticks.

'_What kind of dick made these things?' _thought Naruto. The blonde then cautiously proceeded to jump onto the rods and felt the strange chakra sensations run through him. Quickly adjusting the chakra in his feet Naruto managed to actually stand, albeit not perfectly balanced as he was required to wave his arms this way and that to keep from eating dirt. When the shinobi finally managed to stabilize himself he looked toward Ino and gave her a foxy grin.

"I'm kickass," stated Naruto as if he were telling her that 2+2 was equal to 4. The female could only smile as she gathered kunai in her hand before throwing them at her male counterpart. Naruto looked on with wide eyes as he just barely managed to dodge the projectiles by hopping to the right onto two more of the sticks. However due to the fact that his attention was on living and not his chakra, Naruto once again felt the rods yield to his weight before falling onto the ground.

"Kickass, eh Naruto?" asked Ino with a mocking grin. Naruto cursed as he rubbed his back before he looked at the female blonde with a frown.

"That wasn't nice, Ino-chan."

"Whoever said I would be nice?" questioned Ino with a face that feigned cluelessness as she once again threw kunai at Naruto. Naruto quickly evaded by jumping onto the forest of bamboo sticks. Managing to at least stand up, the blonde quickly made 10 clones before looking back toward Ino with a foxy grin.

"Bring it, Ino-chan."

**--**

**Meanwhile, at the Batca… I mean with the others…**

_**Team 7**_

As Team 7 arrived at their training grounds, Sakura took a seat on one of the tree stumps while Sasuke leaned on another one while grasping his manhood. Looking toward their sensei, the two could see that the man was in deep thought, if his closed eyes were any indication. After around a minute or two of silence, the silence was finally broken when Kakashi put his hand to his mouth and coughed to get his students' attention.

"After much thought I have realized that you, Sakura are female, and that Sasuke, you are male…,"

'_No shit,_' thought both the Haruno and the Uchiha.

"…and thusly you two are should follow your biological destiny and start making babies!" happily exclaimed the silver haired Jounin with an eye smile while Sakura immediately hopped off the stump with her fists at her side and a scarlet blush on her face.

"Kakashi-sensei you can't be serious!" hollered the pink haired medic.

"Oh but I am Sakura," stated Kakashi nodding his head with his eyes closed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Just as Sakura was about to send her teacher to another dimension a thought popped into her head.

"Kakashi-sensei correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't there a rule that forbade against forcing your students to have sex?" Kakashi's smile dropped as he cursed at whatever force gave him one of the smartest kunoichi to grace Konoha as a student.

"Well that's true," answered Kakashi before sitting cross legged on the ground, his fingers stroking his chin.

_**15 Minutes Later**_

Sakura fidgeted atop the tree stump she was sitting on as Kakashi remained in his state of unfathomable thought. Looking to her right she could see that Sasuke seemed to be back to normal and was now simply sitting on the ground while leaning against a tree stump. The Uchiha seemed to keep himself busy via using his Sharingan to control a small snake he summoned around 10 minutes ago. Then just as Sakura decided she had wasted enough time sitting around doing nothing, Kakashi deftly got himself off the ground and onto his feet, radiating all the aura of one who had just found the meaning of creation.

"After much thought…" started Kakashi as both Sakura and Sasuke gave their sensei their upmost attention, "I have decided that…" at this point a puff of smoke indicated that Sasuke had dispersed the snake he had summoned, "…if I cannot force you to have sex," Sakura started becoming rather impatient, "I'll bribe you!" finished Kakashi with an eye smile as he took out two _Icha Icha_ _Collector's Edition _books. Sasuke for his part raised his eyebrow in mild interest while Sakura sweat dropped before she hit her sensei hard enough to send him across Konoha.

'_Kami were you busy when you were supposed to give sensei a brain?' _questioned the Haruno in her mind. Turning on her heel to face her teammate, Sakura gave Sasuke a pleasant smile before asking him if he wanted to get something to eat as she walked past him. Sasuke, who was slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be getting to see the _Icha Icha Collector's Edition_ books, simply shrugged his shoulders as he slowly got up with his hands in his pockets before walking closely behind his pink haired comrade.

_**Team 8**_

'_Seeing as I have two males and one female, I'm not going to be able to complete this challenge without finding one more girl,'_ thought Kurenai as she stared at her team, '_unless…'_

"Hinata, as you know, women are capable of taking up to three or mo…?" Hinata, who was shy but not naïve, blushed furiously at this point as she immediately hopped onto her feet.

"Sensei!" Kurenai could only put on an apologetic smile as she held her hands up in defense.

'_Her dad would probably kill me if I got them to do that anyway.'_ It was then that another thought of how to take out everyone on her team using only the beings present popped into the genjutsu specialist's head.

"Kiba, just how close are you and Akamaru?"

_**Team Gai**_

"LEE, NEJI, TENTEN IF WE ARE TO WIN THIS CHALLENGE THE THREE OF YOU MUST COMBINE YOUR YOUTHFULNESS AT ONCE!" yelled out Gai as Lee, who by this time had managed to push aside the emotional scars inflicted on him, stood up as straight as possible as he saluted his teacher.

"YOSH, I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD GAI-SENSEI!" answered Lee as he took hold of his spandex uniform before ripping it off, revealing that the beast wore green Speedos. Both Neji and TenTen were barely able to hold back the ramen they ate earlier that day as looked at their teammate.

"GOOD JOB LEE, NOW NEJI AND TENTEN YOU TWO MUST NOW…" however before the taijutsu master could continue both he and Lee fell to the ground unconscious courtesy of two senbon needles hitting pressure points. Neji could only sigh as he and his female teammate turned around and started walking away. TenTen had a much shorter temper than most would give her credit for.

_**Team 10**_

"So…" started Yamato as he attempted to break the awkward silence that filled Team 10's training ground.

"Yea…" replied Choji as he looked uncomfortably at the ground. It wasn't as if both he and Shikamaru disliked the man in front of him. Rather it was that they simply weren't anywhere near close enough with one another to even attempt to talk about their sex lives.

"……………"

"……………"

"……………"

"So, have you guys ever wondered how it would feel to have gay sex?" questioned the wood user, hoping he could be able win the challenge in one fell swoop. However this wish was not to be granted as both the younger males simply started to walk away. Yamato sweat dropped as he realized that this challenge would be harder than he thought.

_**Naruto and Ino**_

"Fuck," cursed Naruto as he lay on the ground. After 30 minutes of training Naruto was still not one bit better at staying on the bamboo sticks than when he started.

"It's hard to believe you manage to walk on land, seeing how bad your chakra control is," said Ino mockingly as she hopped of the rods and toward Naruto, extending her hand. Naruto could only grumble under his breath as he took the female's hand as she helped him off the ground.

"Let's go get something to eat, the only thing I ate today was that bowl of ramen and I didn't even get to finish it," ordered Ino as Naruto nodded his approval. As the two were making their way down the Hokage Monument Naruto's ninja senses kicked in as he swiftly swept Ino off her feet before leaping far away from their current spot.

"Naruto what…" started Ino, but her question was answered when some sort of object fell from the sky and down onto the ground they were just standing on, resulting in a small, smoking crater. However before long the two ninjas watched as the object bounced off the ground from the sheer force of its fall as well as the downward angle of the mountain, skyrocketing back into the sky before beginning its descent towards the two blondes. Naruto quickly evaded the yet to be identified entity, only to have it rebound back into the sky and plummet towards them a third time.

"What is this thing?" asked Naruto as he continued his downward trek down the mountain, all the while evading the UBO (Unidentified Bouncing Object). Ino could give no reply as she wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck as securely as possible as the male blonde and the UBO began moving faster. After a good while of dodging the pair of blondes had finally reached the base of the mountain, all the while staring at the UBO. The aforementioned article was currently ascending higher into the sky than at any other time during its unintentional chase of the male and female duo, and as it reached the apex of its ascent Naruto quickly leapt as deep into the village as possible. Landing near Choji's favorite barbeque restaurant, the two blondes watched as the object landed near the base of the Hokage Monument, resulting in a miniature earthquake as well as a large cloud of smoke.

"Glad to see it wasn't a one night stand." Naruto turned around, enabling both him and Ino to set their sights on one Haruno Sakura as well as the younger of the Uchiha brothers. Naruto and Ino simply put on slightly awkward grins at this, realizing that if they didn't answer in an affirmative that they would be found out and thus be forced into a particular challenge.

"Well obviously forehead, I mean come on what kind of man wouldn't want this?" answered Ino in an as honest answer as she could give as Naruto put her down.

"Don't you mean what kind of woman could resist this, Ino-chan?" questioned Naruto as he pointed to himself. Before Ino could reply she realized that both she and Naruto had yet to figure out what exactly they were running from just moments ago.

"As much as I would like to hit you, I would rather find out was chasing us, Naruto," Ino said. As Naruto was about to answer yes, Sakura intervened.

"Don't bother, that was Kakashi-sensei," stated the pink haired medic. Deciding it better to go over the events that transpired that resulted in the silver haired Jounin turning into a UBO of death over something to eat, Ino suggested they go inside the eating establishment in front of them. Just as the four were about to do so, they heard a female voice call out to them.

"Hey guys, wait up!" Team 7 plus Ino turned around to see Team 8, the rest of Team 10, and Neji and TenTen walking towards them. Even Temari and Kankuro, who after being told that their brother's meeting would last another 30 something minutes, were with them. Smiling Naruto waved towards the larger group as they closed the distance between themselves and the four nin. Once the two factions met up, they all decided to eat together.

* * *

Gaara sighed. It wasn't as if he didn't enjoy being Kazekage, but simply that he loathed all the political aspects that holding such a title brought. Staring out at the council members, Gaara deduced that half of the people were shinobi while the other half was civilians. The half of the assembly that were nin was composed of shinobi (not necessarily the leader) representing their clan, the Hokage, her two advisors, and a number of veteran Jounin. The civilian half was made up of business owners, diplomats, and pretty much anybody who influenced the economy of Konoha.

"And thusly I propose that Konoha lend 10 percent of its missions to Suna," finished an unnamed member of the council. Once said every member looked toward the young Kazekage who was currently using his right hand to hold his face up. The only reaction they got was that of the former jinchuuriki nodding his head lazily before looking toward the clock.

'_Did they really need three hours to ask me that one question?'_ thought the young man, '_I honestly couldn't care less about all those economic statistics.'_ Tsunade looked on with an amused smirk as she witnessed Gaara try his best to not just get up and leave the meeting altogether.

'_If Gaara can hardly stay awake at these meetings, I can only imagine what Naruto will do when he becomes Hokage,'_ thought the blonde before speaking, "Thank you Gaara, you have done Konoha a great favor."

The redhead nodded his head in acknowledgement before getting up, "If you don't mind, I believe my business here is finished." The members of the council nodded as one of the guards in the room helped to escort Gaara to the door.

"Our next order of business, what is to be done about Uzumaki Naruto," declared a particularly hefty council member. At this the Kazekage halted his slow progress toward the door before speaking up.

"And why, exactly, must something be done about Uzumaki Naruto?" inquired the sand user. Looking toward the Kazekage the man spoke up.

"Well as you may or may not remember Kazekage-sama, Uzumaki has been banished for three years," at this the redhead frowned. Yeah he recalled that event. He also recalled that right after that event that it took an inconceivable amount of coaxing from both his siblings and the blonde jinchuuriki himself to not cut all ties with Konoha.

"Yes, I do."

"Well you see Uzumaki Naruto arrived yesterday, despite still being banned for three more days," when the man finished this statement, he found that the air in the room got a lot heavier as the Kazekage was now clenching his fists.

"Blasphemy," was the sarcastic reply of Gaara.

"Wait it gets worse," told the man who hadn't pick up the sand users sarcasm, "he even had the nerve to blast around a couple of innocent villagers who wanted nothing more than to talk peacefully and explain to him that he had three more days of banishment!" Gaara could find himself hard-pressed to not simply squash the insect of a man that was speaking, for Shikamaru had a very different rendition of Naruto's meeting with these villagers.

"So what do you propose?" asked Gaara in a low tone. The obese male held his head up high as he stood up.

"I propose we revoke his ninja status and keep him under house arrest until that day that Kami takes this burden off of our shoulders!" At this all the civilians and most of the shinobi that were alive when the Kyuubi struck roared in agreement. Only Tsunade, her advisors, and the ninjas who's children had ties with Naruto stayed quite. When Tsunade had enough, the Hokage got ready to shoot down the idea and hit the one who suggested it with such force that he would not be able to tell if he male or female, had not Gaara intervened.

"Is that so?" asked Gaara before looking over his shoulder at the council, "Well as fair warning, let me just say that should you go through with this plan of yours, Suna will suddenly find itself unable to carry the workload that comes with having to take on 10 percent of Konoha's missions." Everyone at the meeting could feel their jaws drop once this was announced.

"Surely you can't be serious…" one member spoke. Gaara looked away as he once again began his amble toward the door.

"With all due respect, the only loyalty I have for this village is directed towards this _burden,_ as you call him." Pausing once more at the doorway, the Kazekage took one last glance at the people gathered, "Where Uzumaki Naruto goes, so does Suna's alliance." Turning his head away once more, the former jinchuuriki spoke one last time before disappearing in a whirl of sand.

"What made him decline the Tsuchikage's offer is beyond me."

* * *

"She wanted me to have sex with Akamaru!" yelled out a certain Inuzuka, who was currently telling the group of his team's experience with its sensei, causing those that currently had food in their mouth to spit it out in laughter.

"At least you didn't have to see Lee in his Speedos," told TenTen, resulting in every member of the table shuddering at the thought. The shinobi each then went on to tell of how their first day of _the challenge_ had gone so far. Finally when each tale was the told, the Konoha nin went on to eat their meals in a relatively comfortable silence. That was until the only blonde at the table not from Konoha decided to speak up.

"So, are you and Naruto a couple now Ino-chan?" asked Temari as she took a bite of her food. The rest of the shinobi looked at the female blonde in question, even Hinata who had just gotten reasonable control over her crush for the jinchuuriki this past year.

"Yea we have been one for a while actually," stated the Yamanka. '_There is no way in hell I'm going to let them think I let Naruto have sex with me without having to chase me first._' This statement caused surprise in everyone of the nin, even Naruto although he managed to keep his expression much more tame than the others.

Looking up and seeing all the surprised looks, Ino flushed, "What? You guys don't think I would just have sex with Naruto after not seeing him in three years?"

At this accusation many members of the table looked this way and that from guilt. Ino flushed as she raised a trembling fist in the air. Seeing her friend getting ready to annihilate everything and everyone in her path, Sakura decided to speak up, "Since when have you guys been going out?"

The question arrived just before Ino arrived at the summit of her fury and managed to soothe the kunoichi.

"Well we've been going out…" Ino mentally berated herself as she couldn't really think of a time that she and Naruto could have gotten together. Luckily her false lover did.

"Since after Asuma-sensei died," Naruto finished off Ino's proclamation. Ino looked toward the male with thankful look in her eyes before looking in the direction of the rest of the table. The others seemed to accept this explanation, some even going as far to have looks of 'duh' and 'should have known' on their faces. This was up until the kunoichis' 'romance' part of the brain kicked in, resulting in their irises somehow turning into pink hearts.

"Oh my god, you guys had a long distance relationship for three years? How did you do it?" asked all the females at once, even the waitress who had just happened to pass by. At this inquiry Ino realized her fatal mistake and wanted nothing more than to hit herself. Of all the relationships, long distance ones were the type that women wanted to hear about more than anything. The challenge of being separated, the love needed to maintain a bond when it is geographically impossible to be together, the loyalty needed to stay true to a partner that you hardly get to see. Yes, long distance relationships were much higher up on the female's '_Need to Know_' list than any other type.

"Well it was pretty easy on Naruto's part; I mean what man wouldn't wait 100 years for this?" Ino questioned while pointing to herself, "but it was pretty hard for me, seeing as how so many boys were willing to kill for a _chance_ at this." Naruto looked at Ino with a raised eyebrow before deciding to get his own licks in.

"Well you know Ino-chan, there were some rather attractive women that tried to throw themselves at me," gloated the male as he put his hands behind his head, "hell, one of them was actually the High Priestess of her country, isn't that right Sakura-chan?" All heads turned to the pink haired medic as she nodded, before she and everyone else that was involved with the mission concerning one High Priestess Shion shuddered. If not for a law of Demon Country that forbade its priestesses to have children before the age of 18, the world would have already been introduced to the terrifyingly energetic, unadulterated, chakra-juggernauts know as Naruto's spawn.

'_And the world is simply not equipped to handle the Armageddon such an event would bring,'_ thought the select few who witnessed the blonde priestess's almost blatant offer to, plainly put, have sex with Naruto until he got her pregnant with a girl. After some contemplating on the part of those who weren't on the mission, and trembling due to dread by those who were, the females once again booted up into gossip mode.

"So you mean even with all that you managed to stay together?" questioned Hinata. Naruto and Ino, who were currently glaring at each other with the old '_anything you can do, I can do better_' look in their eyes, decided to hold a temporary cease fire as they turned toward the Hyuuga, smiled, and nodded. All the females squealed excitedly before Sakura spoke.

"Tell us everything, like what each of you did every second of every minute of every hour of every day, starting from the moment Naruto left," commanded the Haruno.

"And don't leave out _**any**_ details," added Temari. Everyone save for the curious females sweat dropped as Naruto and Ino looked at each other, using their eyes to beg the other for help. However when neither spoke up they decided they would just have to wing it.

"Well…" Naruto started, but was unceremoniously interrupted when he was grabbed by the collar and dragged toward the door.

"What the fuck?" the male managed to spit out as he turned his head, only to be greeted to the sight of Sai. The artist looked down and smiled before he waved bye to the others. The rest of the nin observed as the former ROOT member and the jinchuuriki exited the establishment before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Ino took this as her opportunity to avoid having to make up a story as she told the women that she wasn't comfortable telling the story without Naruto around. The females seemed to accept this answer as everyone went back to eating.

_**With Sai and Naruto**_

As Naruto and Sai reappeared in front of the Hokage Tower, the blonde realized that because of his ex-teammates absolute lack of any tact whatsoever, he was no longer obligated to tell the kunoichi some make believe story on how he and Ino managed to maintain a long distance relationship for three years. To this, Naruto looked toward Sai and gave him a foxy grin.

"Sai, have I ever told you that you were my favorite ex-teammate who's an artist and sort of creepy?" The artist in question seemed to take the question seriously as he began to stroke his chin in thought before finally coming to a conclusion.

"Why yes, yes you have," replied the artist while nodding his head. Naruto sweat dropped, for he knew for a fact that he had said no such thing in the past.

"Really?"

"Yep, funny thing is we had no clothes on at the time and we just happened to be camping on a mountain," Sai thought deeply for a second, "in fact right after you said it Sasuke came and we all started talking about penises."

Naruto's sweat drop got bigger as he slowly inched away from his once teammate.

'_No need to talk about his dreams any further,'_ the blonde mentally spoke to himself. Deciding to change to subject, for even he found it rude to simply run away from someone who had just saved him from socially humiliating himself, Naruto deciding to ask Sai why exactly he had dragged him here.

"Oh you see," Sai said, "Tsunade-sama and the council want to know what it was the Tsuchikage offered you."

* * *

R/R and don't forget to vote for pairings. Oh for those of you who voted Neji/Hinata, sorry but one of the rules is that the people can't be related. (Blame Yamato for that one).

And the new plan is that I will experiment with every pairing you vote for and I can think of, then at the end I will choose the couples based on the votes.

Before I forget all of you who want to see Naruto go ape shit on Konoha, you won't wanna miss the next chapter.


End file.
